How to Build a Business That Fits Your Life, Not the Other Way Around - Fraidel Sommer

This is the Beyond the Story podcast, a show that goes way beyond the story. And now, Sebastian Frost! Raina, welcome to the show. Hi, thanks for having me. Thanks for being here. We finally made it happen. I am so excited. This, this has been a long time coming. It definitely has been. But then, like, we were chatting, chatting before the interview here. You have 7 children. So for to make schedules work, I, I, I could, I could argue a lot of points. That one I cannot do at all. Uh, ball's in your court. You let me know when you're available. All right. So I'm glad we got a chance to connect here. I know we met over in the great Dan Martell's Elite Coaching Group. What an incredible community and incredible human being Dan is, isn't he? Oh, it's amazing. Life-changing. You hear things there that you don't hear anywhere, and it's— love it. You do. You absolutely do. How long you been in the program? Uh, just like 3, 4 months. Oh, you're a newbie. Yeah, yeah, I'm new. I'm like still absorbing everything, but I love it. I love learning. So good, good. It's great. Good, good. I've been in since, um, November of 2024. Oh wow. So for, for a minute now. So No plans to going anywhere. Great. Best coaching I've ever had, for sure. And I've had a lot of coaching, and he is the best. So, uh, great. Grateful for that. So, Fredo, I love telling people's story on this podcast, hence the name Beyond the Story. And, but for context purposes for our listeners, I always like going back to the beginning of the story. Now, the beginning is different for everyone, so you decide what that beginning mark is for you. But let's spend a few minutes, bring us back to the beginning of the story, where it all started, and then what brought you to present day with being the uh, women's coach extraordinaire that you are, mother of 7 extraordinaire that you are, uh, today? Yeah, well, definitely. So my story actually started out, um, I started out as a speech therapist. Um, and I only did that for about 2 years and I somehow ended up in the network marketing, um, in the network marketing business. Somebody convinced me to give it a shot and I was like, okay, this will be my little side thing. You know, it was makeup, beauty. I was like, great. I love that. And I actually ended up turning it into a full-time career. Dropped my speech job after the first few months. And, um, and I worked my way up in the company. I became the number one director in the entire company and I led my team. We generated over $1 million in revenue 2 years in a row. And that's not the interesting part of my story though. The interesting part, as you mentioned, is that I did all of that while being a mom of 7. And also not working weekends because of my kids, because of my faith, and not being able to really use the same blueprint as everyone else in the company. And so that really forced me from the beginning to be unique and original and come up with my own blueprints and my own frameworks and kind of figure out, you know, how to get to the top and be successful in a way that really wasn't— no one else was doing it that way. Um, And so yeah, so that company was it. Mary Kay Cosmetics. Okay, cool. They've been around for a minute. Yeah, over 3 million consultants around the world. You have a pink Cadillac? Sure. It's parked outside. I actually didn't take it the first couple of times because it doesn't fit 7 kids in it. But now, yo, let me get a pink Escalade. Yeah, you know, but they used to have a third row seat in the Cadillac, then they got rid of it. And I'm like, hmm, But now I took it because my kids are older, so I don't have all of them driving with me all the time. So, okay, cool. Um, yeah. So, and then, and so that's basically how this started. Um, and then once I got to the top of my company, I kind of needed to kind of have an even bigger impact and be able to share it beyond Mary Kay. And so that's when I opened up my Own Your Edge coaching group, where I teach ambitious women how to build a business around your life instead of trying to fit your life around your business. Um, and so that's kind of what I do now. Cool. So are you still with Mary Kay? Um, not really, not really. I, I decided to move on because I didn't want to be like competing with other companies. I wanted this to be able to be something that any woman in any company can join. Um, and it's been amazing. Yeah. So how long have you been, how long have you been a coach? Um, so I started earlier this year. Um, and It's just been, it's been incredible to watch women who were told like their whole life that, you know, you have to hustle harder and you can't get to the top unless you're willing to sacrifice. And, you know, all of those stories that were being told. And here I am able to show them like a real life example. I'm not just teaching you in theory, like I'm teaching you from how I did it. I literally worked only 4 hours a day. Um, and I, you know, created a whole method and frameworks and everything around it. And so these women are just like mind blown after just a couple of weeks being able to see the transformation. So there's no greater feeling than that for me is I'm like, this is, this is what I'm doing for the rest of my life. Yeah. Great. So what would you say the hardest part of growing a coaching business has been? Um, it's a good question. I think, well, number one, you have to really You have to really believe that you have what, what it takes and you have the experience to be able to teach other women, you know, because I, I don't believe in fluff. I don't believe in just motivation. You'll get a lot of motivation out there. I can give motivation too, but I'm very much like, okay, gimme the steps, gimme the frameworks, gimme the processes that will actually make the difference. And so I think, you know, that's really the important part of having a coaching program is you have to really. believe it and have tried it and have lived it and then be able to like condense it into format that you can give it over to other women and have them, you know, be able to do the same thing. Sure. So what are some— so walk me through it. If I'm a female or I'm like, I need a coach and you're a good fit for potentially being my coach, what, you know, what, what are some things that I can expect if I joined your program? Yeah. So I think the first one is that I'm going to really like take all of your limiting beliefs and turn them on their head. Um, there are so many out there, especially in the network marketing company. I feel like in, in the network marketing industry, I feel like there's so many things that have just been said over and over for years that people just believe because they've been said so many times, you know, like, um, you have to warm chat every single person that you meet, which means like when you're in the grocery store, you have to like start up conversations with people and be like, hey, did you ever get a makeover before? Would you like to come over? You know, know? And for me with my 7 kids, like when I'm in the grocery with my 7 kids, I am not stopping anyone. You go to the grocery store with 7 children? Sometimes. Brave woman. We have brave woman on podcast. Yes. Or if I'm at Target or, you know what I mean? Like when I'm— but that's my point. I, when I'm with my kids, I'm a mom. I don't want to be the Mary Kay lady when I'm with my kids, you know? And that's something that really, I feel a lot of Like a lot of women, they feel guilty if they turn it off. And my belief, my really strong belief is like, you have to turn it off. You have to turn it off. You have to be able to be fully mom and then fully businesswoman, you know? And those things don't go together. So that, you know, a lot of those things that I've had to really turn on the head, um, especially in network marketing, I feel like there might be more there than in other companies. Yeah, absolutely. What's the hardest part of building a coaching business? Um, well, I think, I think really the hardest part is like figuring out what makes you different than everyone else, right? What do you really stand for? Why should somebody come to your coaching program rather than someone else's? Um, so I think really getting crystal clear on that and really crystal clear on the transformation that you want to be able to affect in the women that are joining your program? Like, what are you, what are you wanting them to be able to, like, what results do you want them to have? How do you want them to transform in the next couple of months? Um, so really just getting, spending the time to get clear on that and not just trying to like, you know, okay, anyone who wants can join. Like, no, it has to be, it has to be that specific person that you really genuinely believe you could help. Correct. And they have to actually be willing to do the work. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think also that's something that I learned actually from Dan where like, you have to qualify them just like they're, you know, kind of asking you questions. It's a two-way interview. Sure. Um, and that's one of the skills that I learned in network marketing where, you know, when we were recruiting people, which, you know, obviously I was great at that, but I always treated it, I was never trying to convince somebody like, oh, you should join my company. Yeah. You know, you'd be amazing. I hate when people say that you would be amazing. You should do this. I'm like, that's like an automatic wall going up. You know, like she's not listening to you anymore. I made it much more like, I have this incredible opportunity. You know, if you want, I could tell you about it. Let's see. Yeah. You tell me, why do you think you would be good? And so, you know, I kind of learned those skills. It's the same exact thing with a coaching company, a coaching business. Like you wanna make sure that that person's actually genuinely a good fit for you because otherwise it doesn't look good for you if she joins and doesn't have any, you know, results to show for it or any transformation. Um, so yeah, I would definitely say you gotta get good at qualifying people as well. Well, I mean, you probably mastered that with network marketing, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Well, actually my first year in the company, I was the queen of recruiting my first year. So that was fun. I was like, oh, I guess, I guess I'm pretty good at this. Um, and then 10 years later I was the queen of the entire company. So of, you know, my, of generating the most income in the company. So, you know, it's been a journey, but what I love about it also is that everything that I've learned there, you're able to keep with you for the rest of your life and use it for whatever you end up doing going forward. So yeah, it's been great. Yeah. I love how you've been able to parlay that all into your own business, running your own show, doing your own thing, calling your own shots and designing, You're teaching women how to do exactly what you've done, which I believe is the best qualification for a coach that you can possibly do. Yeah. And it's so interesting that you picked up on that because, you know, even at this level, a lot of times I'll find myself trying to copy other women's playbooks, you know, and trying to like, be like, oh, maybe I should do it that way. Maybe I should do it that way. And at every level I'm like, okay, Freda, take your own advice. Remember you lived this, you know, you have different strengths than other people. You have different wiring, you have different life circumstances. So, things that work for other people, like, you know, copying other people's morning routine, that's not gonna work for you. What, what's the point? You know, why are you trying to become someone else if it's not? And then you get frustrated, especially ambitious women. They get very frustrated when it, you know, they're trying, they're doing everything right. They're, you know, borrowing other people's principles, but you can't borrow their life. You can borrow their principles, but not their life. And so, um, even at this level, I have to remind myself like, You know, you wanted to build your own company for a reason. So build your own company and don't try to copy everyone else. Um, and that's one of the biggest reasons why I did, you know, leave Mary Kay was because at the end of the day, I wanted to call my own shots. I wanted to have all of the, you know, um, veto power. I wanted to be able to build something around my own strengths. And so, yeah, that's something that I can teach other women because I'm living it. Amazing. I love that. If somebody's listening to this right now and they've been contemplating a coach, they need a coach, they need to figure out how to design the life they want. What's the message you have to give them? right now? Yeah. Well, I mean, the first thing I would say is I do have, uh, the 4-Hour Million Dollar Workday, which I'm kind of known for. That's one of the frameworks that I really teach and emphasize a lot. And it's something that I feel like a lot of ambitious women would love to know because some of them are working 10 hours a day and still feel like they're stuck. And they're like, how do you do it in 4 hours? It doesn't actually seem possible. Um, and so I created an executive playbook of the 4-Hour Million Dollar Workday. And so if anybody wants it, you could just find me on Instagram, uh, Friedel_Summer. So I'll include that in the show notes. So yeah, take advantage of that, uh, that free gift. Uh, if you're listening to this right now, I'll put her link to her Instagram in the show notes, the description of this podcast episode, uh, and take full advantage of that. Send her a message. Yeah. Just send me the word Workday, just message me Workday and I'll send you the executive playbook. And I think that that'll help a lot for, you know, people to understand what exactly, where's my thinking coming from? How does this make sense? And most of it is actually coming from you know, how to be the architect of your business instead of just being the employee and reacting and putting out fires all day. So anyone that's interested, yeah, just shoot me a DM on Instagram and I'll send you over. I appreciate that. Well, it's been great to get to know you. I'm glad we finally got this conversation. It was well overdue. We finally got it in. We did it, Freda. We did it. Um, and thank you so much. Absolutely. Thank you for your time. And it's been great to learn more about you. Any final thoughts for our listeners? Um, I would just say that in general, like we need to constantly remind ourselves again that your business is meant to fit around your life, not, you know, you trying to fit your life around your business and also stop copying everyone else. You have your own unique wiring, your own strengths, dig deep and think what those are. What are things that you can do that other people can't and really build your business around that. And you'll be able to stop that tug of war of like, okay, what do I wanna do versus what do I need to do when you're working in your strengths and you're enjoying every second of it? I love that. Amazing final thoughts, Freda. You're a total rock star. Keep doing what you're doing. It's clearly work that matters, and you're making an impact in other people's lives. I encourage you to keep up the great work. It's a privilege to now call you a friend and be associated with you. Absolutely. Thank you so much. My pleasure. Until next time, friends. Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the Beyond the Story podcast. We sure do appreciate it. If you haven't done so already, make sure you're subscribed to the show. This way you'll get updates As new episodes become available. If you feel so inclined, please leave us a review. We sure do appreciate it. Signing off from the podcast, launchlab.com studios. We'll talk to you next time.