How To Create Generational Impact - Lance Welch

This is the Beyond the Story podcast, a show that goes way beyond the story.

Sebastian Rusk

And now, Sebastian Frost!

Lance Welch

Lance, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Looking forward to it. Hey, thanks for being here. Thanks for taking some time out of your busy day to hang out with me for a few minutes here. We connected through some mutual friends here and quickly started talking about your new book and I've started connecting some more dots. The world gets smaller and smaller. And I said, well, we love to tell people's stories on this show. And I thought, what a great opportunity to not only tell the story about your most recent story, but dig in and talk a little bit more about you. So, If we can for context for our listeners, let's just back up a little bit real quick and help our listeners better understand a little bit more about you and your backstory and what really brought you to present day with what you're working on.

Sebastian Rusk

Great start. I've been married for almost 37 years to the same lady. So, well, congrats to her. She's put up with an awful lot for sure. We have three grown sons and two grandchildren, and the grandchildren is everything that people crack them up to be. They're amazing. We were in corporate world for many, many years with a Fortune 100 insurance company, so I spent a lot of time on the road. At one point, I had 14 states, over 3,000 sales reps or agents, so I was in the insurance space. It was all of those years of all the travel that created the story of where did this book come from? I'm a firm believer that God never wastes a moment. All of those years of travel and getting stuck in airports or road construction, all that wonderful stuff. It forced my wife and I to become very, very, very intentional on what kind of a marriage do we want? What kind of family relationships do we want? And this started when the boys were young. Now that they're all in their 30s, they're starting their life on their own. We are very fortunate to be able to say we have amazing, wonderfully amazing relationships with our grown kids. And I'm realizing that not everybody can say that. And that's really what the premise of this book was, is how can we help resource other families to have amazing relationships? Not that we've done everything right, but we do have amazing relationships and love to share the story with others. Yeah.

And that's what it's all about. Life is all about relationships. I love what you said that God doesn't waste a minute. And I firmly believe that as well. There are no mistakes. It's excuse me. I heard Tony Robbins say one time, You know, there are no mistakes. Life is simply a guided journey of lessons. And I never forgot that. Right. And, uh, you know, when you look at it through that lens, uh, it seemed to be a smidge bit easier to go through this thing called life here. So, um, the, the name of the books, the, the legacy navigator creating intentional multi-generational impact. Notice she didn't say wealth. You said impact on there. So, Where did the idea come from to say, you know what, this is the next piece of work for me?

The, well, even the concept of the word impact is different from the word influence, right? There are so many influencers in today's world, but they may only influence for a moment or a week or a month, depends on how long you're motivated. You know, Zig Ziglar used to say, you know, motivation doesn't work. That's why you got to keep at it every day. And that's really no different. So I definitely pray for influence and believe that with you know, the life that you live, you can have influence, but I want it to be stronger than that. And my impact is really going to be channeled out through my sons. You know, my time on this earth, my number one responsibility is my wife. Beyond that are my three sons to equip them to have their own levels of impact and then watch them do what they can do with it. And you do know one of my oldest sons, but all three of my boys are, they are, very influential in their own right, but one of them is now having a global impact. And I, my wife and I would first say, we didn't, we didn't, we're not responsible for all that. We planted some very good seeds, but then he was able to find other people to help nurture and plant more seeds. And then they ran with it. So impact is life-changing, not just influence in a moment for me.

Absolutely. I listened to a snippet from the book and you mentioned something to the tune of when we enable our kids and give them an easy life, we actually make it harder for them. And I've experienced that too. I've single dad for, for 18 years. I raised my daughter, sent her off to college and she's now 23 and completely self-sufficient. No one needs me home for dinner now. Um, but, um, I, I, I look at that a lot as I'm continuing to build, uh, and create, what I'm doing with the work that I get the opportunity to be able to do, but never in a million years did I think, you know what, I wish I could have just bankrolled her and she was good. In fact, I think that that ruins your kids to a certain extent on here. I'll never forget, speaking of Tony Robbins, good friends with his son, Jarek. And I remember him telling a story years ago to me that my dad kicked me out at 18. he said candidly, could you imagine being Tony Robbins son and being kicked out at 18 and not because I was a bad kid, but because he was enabling me to be able to get out and create something of my own. And I never ever forgot that. In fact, it's probably one of the best parenting tips that I ever received at all. But let's talk about that a little bit and kind of your thought process around that.

Okay, well, it really where that came from is during those many years, I was at corporate, I had the privilege and the responsibility of working with a lot of high net worth families. And the one of the most common phrases I got from those families was, I hope my wealth doesn't screw up my kids. And you know, at that point, we had very young children, and I could not fathom what it would be like to have that kind of wealth, and be concerned that that was going to screw up your kids. So I didn't comprehend it at the moment, but that's one of those phrases that always stuck with me. And then progress now 20, 30 years further into this story, and it is very apparent. When children are handed everything, it debilitates them from having to learn how to persevere. When the tough times come, and we talk about in the book, it's not if. that they're met with challenges. It's just when. And if they've never been equipped to handle those challenges, they've never had someone like you or another father to mentor them through that process. They don't know how to handle it. And there's so many examples of that throughout our world. It's amazing what happens when you equip your children to know how to think critically and problem solve. And those children that are handed everything, they're debilitated because they're robbed of that opportunity.

I think my daughter, in fact, she called me a couple of years ago after she graduated. She said, hey, what do I need to do for you to stop telling me what to do with my life? And I said, well, stop asking me for money. She said, done. Where do I sign? And that was kind of the catalyst. She said, listen, if you stop telling me what to do with my life, I'll never call you again for another nickel. And I said, sign me up. And I joke about that as kind of tongue in cheek, but we laugh about it a lot because it's really enabled and set her up. to be able, she's in the master's program. She works at Bucky's in Dallas and, uh, you know, she's thriving. We all know Bucky's pays really well. So it's a good gig to have while she's, uh, getting her masters. And it's just exciting to see her in this space of being able to thrive and officially out of the nest, like for good. I mean, I told her when she went to college, don't come back. And she was like, ha ha ha. And I'm like, I'm not kidding. Uh, and she took it literal, but, that was yet another stepping stone for me to be able to help her take her step out into the real world on there and get acclimated on where it's at now. I mean, don't get me wrong. You know, we've are, we always want to be there for our children. There's not much I wouldn't do for her, but there's a liberating feeling there knowing that. And it's also, uh, you know, when you're, when you start to get that feeling of, My kids really don't need me anymore. They always will, but it's not as much. And you've kind of formed your identity around being a parent. I went through that when my daughter went off to college. I was like, I'm 40 years old. What am I going to do with my life now? Well, I guess it all begins right now. Everyone told me I was doing it wrong and backwards, but you know, I'm 45 now and then an empty nester, literally doing whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want. Uh, and that's an extremely, extremely exciting space, uh, to be able to be, and I don't know how long-term it'll be being the empty nester here, but I'll let God handle the rest of that. But it's been interesting to see the shift in being able to watch our kids kind of launch out into the world. What's been your experience having three boys and watching that happen?

Well, I want to piggyback on a word that you used. You said it's very liberating. And you were talking about from a parent, it's liberating to watch them launch. It's liberating for them as well. When they realize that you have given the tools and the resources to excel on their own, That's an amazingly wonderful feeling and liberating to them as well. So I love the word that you used on that, but it is on both sides of that, not just for us as parents and empty nesters, but also for our children. You know, we were empty nesters multiple times, but they did at different times come back home. They are all out on their own now, but we're not empty nesters anymore. My mother-in-law now lives with us. And that was one of those things that we believe in the multi-generational support and having that opportunity to help out is very important as well.

Very cool. Very cool. Good old mother-in-law. Lucky you, right? Wink, wink. That's right. So when did the book drop? When was it released?

It was released mid-March of this year. Yeah, it was one of those interesting things that I never planned on writing a book. My wife and boys had always told me, you've got to write a book. And I kept telling them, I'm not an author, which goes to the power of our words. We continue to declare something long enough, we begin to believe it. But eventually, it's like, OK, there's a message there. It may just be for me. I didn't know how good it was going to turn out. I worked with a local hybrid type publisher out of our church. And got done with it. And she's like, I don't think you realize how good this is going to be. And she was right. I mean, it was like, I had no idea. I've never written a book. I've read probably close. Well, probably over a thousand books. And you pick up different styles. You know, John Maxwell is one of my favorite authors. Andy Andrews is another amazing author. John Eldridge. I mean, I could go down the list, but you kind of create a style based upon what you resonate with. So the book dropped in mid-March and so far it has been received far, far better than I ever, ever expected. So it's really, it's fun and exciting.

I mean, we're talking about legacy. Is there a better way to be able to leave a mark on this planet while we're here and when we're not here anymore, too? I heard that a long time ago. It's our opportunity to contribute to humanity for a long time. I said people don't throw books away. They might give them away. They might just sit on a bookshelf, but nobody throws a book away. So, and you know, and it, it also becomes a new form of, of, of your brand identity as far as your, your personal brand and your business brand. People view you differently. I've had the unique opportunity of writing two books. I never in a million years thought that was ever in the same conversation I had with myself. too. It was the first time I got approached to be able to write a book. I said, yeah, I think about it all the time, but the thought of writing another chapter, I'd rather wake up in the morning, punch myself in the face and eat my pillow. And I never forgot them saying, well, what if you could just talk your book to us? And I thought, well, I can talk to the cows come home. So that was a neat little hack to be able to get out there. But I also look at it as not everyone's a fit to do business with you. Uh, it's not always, it's not always a match, but I want to be able, I firmly believe that it's our responsibility. It is our duty to share our God-given gifts with everyone, not just those that are paying us for our services or actually doing business with, but allowing people to, to, to make that impact. I had a guy invite me to be on his show a couple months back. And he said, Hey man, I just want to let you know that the reason that I asked you to be a guest on my show today is because I read your book. I did everything you told me to do. And now this podcast is a reality. So this is a real full circle moment. And I had no idea about that prior to getting on the interview, but man, I tell you when, when those unique experiences start to take place, you start, and then you, you kind of go back in your thought process and you're like, why did I ever question doing this? I mean, what's possible with the next book on here, but it's our new business card, I firmly believe. It's an expensive business card, but the ability, I never forget, I had my buddy Jack Daly share a story about, we wrote our book with the same publisher, first book, and he said, I like to carry a backpack full of books when I travel. Not a few, but five, six in there. I always like to leave a few in first class and I, and I leave a little note in there and says, Hey, listen, I don't know if you're like books or you read it all, but we got a long flight here and I'm an eight C if you want to chat about it. And I thought, well, this is some, you know, unique guys. I personally like to put them in Hudson news and just put them right there and take a selfie with them in the, in the, in the airport. But man, they are a books are really something special and definitely something we can it's a, it's a very proud feather in our cap. to be able to, you know, and a feeling of accomplishment. Has that, has that been something, some of the stuff you've experienced?

It is, and like you said, when you start getting some feedback from others that it actually made impact in their life, that is like, okay, if it was only for that one. But yeah, I'm getting amazing feedback from, you know, empty nesters that are now rebuilding and rekindling relationships with their adult children, which is amazing. Younger parents with kids still at home, they're going to be implementing some of the things that we talk about, because we give all sorts of examples of, we did this, it worked well, we did this, it didn't work well. The appendix is full of, I think there's like five sections in the appendix that has actual work to do type worksheets. Someone asked about what is the next project? And I've got several that have started, but it ended up, actually, I felt like I was supposed to create a workbook from the basis of the Legacy Navigator. So this weekend, my wife and I are doing our first Legacy Builder workshop. It's a half day event, and we got 30, Yeah, 30 people, 15, 18 couples that are coming in and we're excited to be able to share that message and dig into the weeds more than what you can do in a book. So one thing I was going to mention too in the book, we talk in the very beginning, it's like you're going to leave a legacy. You will either leave a default one. Yeah. or you're going to leave an intentional one. And as long as we're still here, we get to influence and impact, whether it's an intentional one or just the one that's by default. So it's, you're going to leave a legacy. Yeah. Which will look like.

Absolutely. And I think about that a lot too. I firmly do believe I'm, you know, I am a devout Christian and my faith is what carries me, but I firmly believe that generational curses are a real thing. And based on those things, it's our responsibility and duty to break those. And I've been able to have that fortunate opportunity with my daughter and even in my family to get in and disrupt that process. And that too is very much, very much a part of, of, of leaving a legacy too, and, and, and laying the groundwork for what, you know, what, what we're doing. Yeah. So true. Well, I'm, I'm bummed. I'm going to miss this weekend. I know I got a bunch of mutual friends. In fact, we got, I got a new client starting with us today. That'll be there this weekend. Uh, uh, Charlie Ramshaw. So, um, yeah, that's, that's how I found out about it. And we'll, then he mentioned Chris's name. Of course, everybody knows Chris, Chris and I are in the same mastermind group together on here, but, uh, it's always, uh, It's always a treat to visit Nashville. That's why my ears perked up when I saw it, but the dates didn't work out. But I'm sure you guys are going to absolutely crush it this weekend. And I look forward to seeing what we can do to attend the next one on here. But I sure do appreciate your time today. It's been great to get to know you better and better understand the story behind the story, if you will, with the book. Listeners, I'm going to drop a link to the book in the show notes. That's the description of this podcast episode. Just click on the link. Also include a link to Lance's LinkedIn profile so you can connect with him, stay connected with him. He's obviously up to some great things. He's doing great things, has done great things. And it's my, uh, it's, it's, it's my understanding that he's, he's nowhere close to even being done with, uh, continuing to do that. So Lance, I appreciate you, my brother, any final thoughts for our listeners?

Man, just be intentional. That is the key thing. Know what you want, figure out how to go get it. Just be intentional with it.

I love it. Thanks again, Lance. I appreciate you. My pleasure. Thanks. You got it. Until next time, friends. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode of the Beyond the Story podcast. Be sure to appreciate it. If you haven't done so already, make sure you subscribe to the show. This way you'll get updates as new episodes become available. If you feel so inclined, please leave us a review. Be sure to appreciate it. Signing off from the podcast, Launchlab.com Studios. We'll talk to you next time.