How To Start Doing Comedy: Dina Cruz - Comedian

SPEAKER_00 0:04

This is the Beyond the Story Podcast, a show that goes way beyond the story. And now Sebastian Bro. Dinah. Like your Instagram. Like your Instagram. I Dinah. I like pronounce it like that.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

That's how you say it though.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Hey. Instagram training those people out there, yo.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

I phonetically spelled it on purpose. I was tired of getting called Dinah.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Dinah. I I don't know that if I saw Dinah, I would go, you know what? Look at Dinah.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Well, because I spell it D-I-N-A. So that's why I like I still would go with Dina. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Well, anyway, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

I'm trying to make this happen for a minute. You had some Instagram problems or Zoom problems.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Yes, we did.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

So I was like, we're just gonna do the damn thing uh in in person.

unknown 1:05

I uh I think I tracked you down online. Yeah, that's what happened.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

And um I like to connect with other comedians in the in the Miami community because you know this scene is uh growing rapidly very, very fast. Yeah, it's that subjective, but you know, uh there is a a scene uh happening in in Miami. I feel like I kind of stumbled onto it based on um just being curious on you know what's possible with telling jokes. Like I know I'm funny and I know I can speak, but does that translate to comedy? Was the big like question mark? Yeah, and then as with everything else in my life, a podcast leads me just about everywhere I need to go. And I had uh Manny Garavito on the show a couple years ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Yes, shout out to Manny. Yeah, yeah, shout out to Manny, Miami comedy, yes, doing big things in those t-shirts.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

Little people absolutely and um I I shared with him that that conundrum, if you will, that I had. And and he said, uh, dude, there's no first of all, I've been following you for a couple years, like I know who you are. I was like, for real. And he's like, Yeah, he's like social buzz. And I had the bow tie and the whole get up back, you know, prior life. And um, I was like, all right, I don't want to talk about this, Manny. And uh he said, listen, why don't you come out to a show uh on come out Wednesday night? We got a show in Dural. And I go, you already hate me. Yeah. And it was like Deep Durrow, too. I don't know if you were you were doing comedy then, but it was um what is the name of it? Some brewery in Deep Dural. Like, I don't know where it was. Anyway, so um I get there and I'm all ready. I put a set together, I had a few of my friends show up, and um he goes, All right, you're third up, and I was like, cool, on the open mic. He's like, No, no, no, like part of the show, don't bomb. And he's like, he has to follow it up with don't bomb. And I had prepared a whole set about dating Venezuelans and them feeding me empanadas and uh wanting papers, and that just fucking murdered in Doral. Of course, because that shit did not land in Brickle.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

They were like of course not. They're like, fuck Venezuela.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Yeah, and Dural, right? There's some serious Latino wars. There's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

It's crazy. Nobody likes everybody. We like everyone else and we hate each other. It's the craziest fucking thing.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Well, white people kind of do the same thing, though. Rich people are like, look at this fucking redneck. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 3:32

I don't understand it. Like, Cubans hate Puerto Ricans, Puerto Ricans hate Dominicans, Dominicans hate Haitians, and then like while you're in Miami, we kind of got a melting pot of everything. Colombians hate Venezuelans, and both of them hate Argentinians.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

It'd be cool to like get one from each um like country and just like debate, like have a constructive conversation.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

No, like they should be able to end out together an American gladiator thing, like with the big Q tips. Like, I would love to see some shows like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Like it's the match you've been waiting for: Argentina versus Colombia.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

It's true.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Better than gladiator.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

I would pay to see that shit. I would pay to see that.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

I probably oh my goodness. Can we all just get along? My goodness, can we all just get along? I'm a gringo in Miami, so you know I uh I'm just out here trying to survive up in these streets, you know what I mean? But I I I I grew up in Kendall though, so I'm conditioned. I made it out though, you know?

SPEAKER_01 4:36

You made it out the hood like Alex Roger did.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

I did, you know, poor A Roy. Yeah.

unknown 4:42

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

That's gritty.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

I yeah, whatever you do, don't just do the opposite of what A-Roy does. Yeah, except play baseball. Yeah, he's not a really nice guy.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

I mean, he's not already nice.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

That's fine. It's okay. But money just magnifies. You know what I mean? Whatever you are, that's right. Whoever you already are.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

So that's true.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

So my experience a few times with Mr. Roy uh Rod uh was a less than pleasurable experience. To to the complete opposite, yeah, it totally is. But I I I wasn't alone. Anyway, I mean, I wasn't alone with that type of experience based on what I asked. So just be nice to people anyway. Shout out to Arod. You're the man, you're the man.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

But I mean, you know what they say, they say never meet your idols for you as well. He was definitely not my idol, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Definitely, definitely not my idol. Um we were at a press event, he was getting some boys and girls club dedicated to Wincandle, I don't remember that. Anyway, so we're there with the media, and I see how, like, and I get it, to a certain extent, uh, where people, you know, certain people of notoriety will have different relationships with the media, and it is there is a there is an established relationship there, and usually said person wants the media on their side, hence the relationship. They're not probably doing it, and they constantly see them all the time.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

I mean, that makes sense, right? I guess.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

So I was there and he he questioned uh questioned who I was with. I'm like, you're not allowed in here unless you're either one of the kids playing Little League or the media. Like you're not, you're you're not just on the field, right? Right, and uh he was like, Who are you with? Can you step back? And I was like, he didn't say that to NBC. That's the thing, right? You know what I mean? Oh wow, so what I what am I gonna say? No, yeah, right, hit him over the head with a presidente bottle, yeah. No, um so I just kind of sucked it up because I'm like, if you if you run your mouth, like there's cops around. There's people referring to him as Alex. Right, yeah. Sup, Alex, yeah. So I just let that one go. That was my uh early experience of uh, you know, the internal making better decisions. Now, to the polar opposite of that, um Derek Jeter is an absolute sweetheart of a human being.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

I've heard that. I've actually met him. I met him one time at Gecko.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Yeah, he's a he's a good guy. I uh I don't want to say I used to work out with him. I used to work out at the same time as him at Equinox on Tuesday mornings, and uh he was in between sets, and we have a a mutual friend, so um that's kind of what I led with.

unknown 7:14

Big name dropper.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Big name dropper over here. No, but I said uh it's great to meet you. Like, oh, this was right after the Hall of Fame uh induction, correct. So I said, you know, I can't stand the Yankees, but I'm a huge Derek Jeter fan. That's the captain. That's I said, thanks, man. I appreciate it. It's really good to meet you, man. You're having a good day. I'm like, I'm having a great day. And every time you would see me, like, salute like the captain. I was like, we need more Derek Jeters in this world, and then I found and then and it's what's ironic, and I don't know how the whole A-Rod Jeter thing ended up, but it wasn't as like warm and fuzzy as you would think it would be, other than being teammates, right? But now they're both on Fox commenting together. I'm like, I guess they're cool. I guess everybody else, you know, is is cool. I mean, well, people, it's it I mean A-rod always chews gum in like his videos, and I always comment. Yeah, I wanted to start a parody account called Arod's Gum. My friends were like, hey, he can send some fucking goons like to find you. Yeah, are you the gum guy?

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Knocking on the door.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Well no roll, yeah. Gum on camera.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

I always comment how they'll find you and throw Triton at you. Stop it.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

They will. They will. Um, so I think I commented. Oh, he was he was at the heat game or something, and I commented on his Facebook page. Where's Jen? Oh, wow. Comments are content. Let me tell you. I uh my buddy Brian Breach has mastered this on Only and Dade.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Do you know Brian Breach?

SPEAKER_01 8:44

No.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Okay, so he comments on like almost every Only and Dade uh post, and it's hysterical nine times out of ten, and he gets like 500 likes on his comments. No, he's hosting their podcast now, so that's crazy. Yeah, yeah. So um I started doing that. There was a uh Lifetime Fitness opening up by the falls, okay. And there's like a kids' club and a water slide, and I was like, two words. Fuck that. Yeah. I go, that place is gonna be right. That dude crawling with kids. It's gonna be like Disney World on the end.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Yeah, because we're gonna leave their kids there and not even go to the gym.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Like oh yeah, I had a couple freaking housewives jump in there and go, we go to the one in the Coral Gables. My kiddos absolutely love it. Um and then somebody commented last night, I go, said, uh, dude, we don't want you there. And it was my buddy. But comments are content, they they uh they they really are these.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

That's crazy. I've never thought about that.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

You know, well, it also helps sharpen your axe a little bit on the comedy.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

That's true, that's very true. Have you ever found to drop a radical comment on a post?

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Right. Well, I I've re- I figured this out after I did my first show last week. I'm like, if the goal is to be funny at all times. So I travel a lot, spend a lot of time on the road, and I yeah, but that that's and it's the little pockets and air, it's the Uber drivers, it's the person at the good gas station, it's the what I mean. I've I've seen in like it doesn't matter where it's at, the airport. I was in uh I was at the you know, getting the IV vitamin bag, healthy heroin bags, I call them. And I was like, can you guys fill one of those with heroin? Deads, and they were like, we don't believe some like morphine, and the guy's like fresh out. What it does is it actually enrolls other people. It like it does.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

It freaks down their like their facade. I feel like a lot of people in the world like we operate. I wouldn't say a lot of people, I think we all do this. Like we kind of operate in a character. Yeah, you know what I mean? So I do feel I do I do feel that you're right in that sense. Like, I feel like comedy is like the one thing that kind of breaks that facade down, like even among strangers. So it's it's kind of like the ultimate love language, right? It's like the ultimate, like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

I asked a girl last week what her love language was, she said Spanish.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Well, I have a joke about that, you know that, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:14

I do too. Yeah, that is the joke. Clearly, lands. You can make a comic laugh, then your jokes are funny. Allegedly. Allegedly. So supposedly. So when in yeah, irregardness. I where did I hear your oh the the Marvel in Miami? Well, everywhere in Miami. Say irregardness, we're having salmon, yeah. So literally, oh I can't. I can't. These Miami girls, you know. Um that was a fantastic video a couple years ago, though. That should that was like one when viral when viral videos first started. Shit Miami Girls say. It's outstanding. Um, we need an updated version of that. Um I've completely lost my train of thought, but that's the goal of being a podcaster. Um just keep coming up with new questions every day. Uh, so comedy, when when uh when did you decide that you wanted to do comedy?

SPEAKER_01 12:07

Um so comedy for me was an accident, actually. Um I'm actually really, really good friends with Cisco Duran. I am a fan of Cisco, he's a very, very good friend of mine. Great comic. Um, just a great person. Um, and we were friends for for quite a while. And uh I used to commit the ultimate sin, and I used to be like, let me write your jokes. You know I'm so funny. Like, that's sin. It is. I feel like now that I'm a comic, that's so disrespectful. Like to sell a comic, like, let me write your jokes. No, you gotta be in like what are you insinuating? I'm not funny on my own.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

You gotta be involved with it. I don't touch the mic just in case. I don't know if it makes noise. I don't I just want you to sound you know clear crystal clear. Um, I was like, don't touch the phone.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

I'm just used to like grabbing the mic.

unknown 12:55

Settle down.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Sounds like on a podcast, okay? This is not only fans live. It's just her and the mic. I'm used to it. Um so Cisco.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

So yeah, so I used to bother him all the time. I used to be like, let me write your jokes, let me write your jokes.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

There's no problem with that if you're involved with the process. I've sat down, I've scheduled.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

I guess, I guess. But it was funny because we were just hanging out one day, and I went to go see him do like a random set that he had like at the beach or whatever, and he was like, Oh, let's go to Taurus. At the time I wasn't on the scene, I had no idea. So where's my guy? Exactly. I had no clue like what we were doing, where we were going. So we just kind of showed up, and um, I went to the bar to get us drinks, and I come back, and he's like, I put us on the list, and I'm like, what fucking list? It's church of like midnight. To me, it's like there's no VIP here, it's just one bar, like with list for what? There's not even another room. Not for comedy, though. Yeah, no, and then he's like, No, you're next. And uh, and that's how it started. I went up there with no jokes, absolutely, not one. That's pretty ballsy. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun. I was super drunk, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Wow, see, that's one that I had to, I don't, I don't, I don't, well, I don't do it on purpose. I don't, I just there's no way I have trouble doing life drunk.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Yeah, no, now I won't I won't do it drunk like this.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

I'll have a drink I'll have a drink, but I but I just no, I was drunk.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Yeah, I wasn't, I had a drink, I was drunk. This was like the end of the night, like type of like, you know what I mean? And obviously I had no idea what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

Yeah, that mic's like midnight, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Yeah, it's it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

Um and you're making really drunk people laugh. That's yeah, yeah, let's do that.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

It was fun. Um, and then it was weird because I went home the next day and I told my mom, actually, I was like, Mom, you know what? I think I'm gonna be a comedian. And uh she looked at me. No, she just looked at me, she was like, Mom, but you're not that funny. You should do something else.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

My mom's like, Why are you doing this comedy? Does this comedy mean is this speaking?

SPEAKER_01 14:56

She told me typical Puerto Rican mom fashion. She just looked at me and she put her hand on my knee and she was like, You're you're not that funny. You should you shouldn't do that. You should do something ethics. Uh so if I ever get an ethic special, that's what I'm gonna name it. My mom thinks I'm not funny.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

That's fantastic. I just like that a lot. My my best friend who who uh we went to high school together, and uh he's one of those guys where he just will never he's like one of those guys who like, I'm never gonna tell you that you're doing a great job for doing what you should be doing. I'm not gonna thank you for doing your job, right? As he says, I like to call balls and strikes in your life, Rusk, and I uh I appreciate that. So I get back from Dallas last week on like, I don't know, it's like Monday morning, and he texts me, Hey, you done pretending like you're a fucking comedian.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Those are the first the ones that bring you down a couple of things.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Oh my god, that's what he said. Hey, I just keep you honest. That's what he said. I keep you honest. Uh so how long ago was that? How long ago did you say you were going to start?

SPEAKER_01 16:01

That was February 2022. So, and then it's crazy because after my mom told me that I didn't touch a mic for six months.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Um you see what happens?

SPEAKER_01 16:10

I promise you I do.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Jokes aside, I I make sure that I I include in every single one of my talks giving people permission to do whatever the fuck it is they decide that they want to do. And people are like, I know it seems elementary and a little woo, but sometimes we need that woo.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Of course.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Because somewhere along the lines, someone told us that we couldn't do something and we believe it.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

And we you believe it.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

And then we fucking live our lives according to it. Exactly. And then we enroll other people into it, like it's true.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

And then you subscribe them to that idea.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

What shifted out of there where you're like, you know what, mom, sit down.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

I think it was just me, like I I had written, I had actually written some stuff, and uh, and I was like, you know what? I I need I need to know. I need to know if it's a fluke or not. Like, let's see for real, you know. And then like I told you, Cisco's one of my real good friends. So obviously talking to him every once in a while, he'd be like, So did you get up again? And I'd be like, uh, you know, and I think it was like that nagging like voice of my own of being like, I I should do this. Like, I'm I'm I'm tripping, I'm wasting time here, you know. So six months later, I want to say about this time last year was when I started hitting mics consecutively, like real hard. And uh, I think I've made some some pretty big strides in just a year. So you made any money doing it? Yeah, yeah. I've I've made pretty good money, actually. Good, you know.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

I've not that's a lie.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

You'll get there, you'll get there, you'll get there.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

It's just there's so much crossover between the podcasting and my in my and my speaking business. So it's it's it's very it's actually not true. I actually have because I've made the decision to start doing comedy, um, the it's it started to intersect. So a lot of the opportunities, and almost 10 times out of 10, when I'm booked to speak, they're like, oh, by the way, do you mind doing like a quick set before the comedy? Right. So I kind of get the best of both worlds. If you can make people laugh, they will buy shit from you, and that's just the reality, especially if you do really good at what you do on the business side. Um, I think it'll I think it kicks open a lot of doors, but uh it's either healing or traumatizing. I'm not saying I think it might be a little hybrid.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Uh, I think you have to be traumatized to do it for sure. Like, I think every comedian has a little bit of trauma in them somehow. Some way. I know it's crazy, but it's true. I feel like if we weren't traumatized, we wouldn't have anything to talk about.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Are you a Kill Tony fan?

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Yes and no.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

I fucking hated him when I first heard it, and I I'm like, fuck this guy. He's just as just arrogant, and then I and then I'm I'm hooked. I am literally hooked.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

The guy is respect his honesty.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

He's definitely respect his honesty. Like for like on the fly stuff for like the live show? Yeah, like he can rip some ass like on the fly.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

And I'm like, whoa! Yeah, would I ever be on Kill Tony? Absolutely not. Why not? Hell no, hell no, I would not. I don't have the balls to do it. That could put you on the map. I don't have the balls to do it. I really don't.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Dude, did they get you follow David Lucas?

SPEAKER_01 19:13

I do.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

And Hans Cam. Hans that song. They both were not funny at their show.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

And that new kid, Cam, he's actually down here.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Yeah, he's from uh like Pembroke Pines or something. No, no, Orlando.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

He's from down here, and before he did kill Tony, um, he he was just some regular kids.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

I was uh I was in I had a gig in Austin last month that I was there. I wasn't there on a Monday, so I couldn't kill Tony because I would have put my name in the bucket. I got a minute for Tony. Yeah, let's go. Um I I I got a minute, but I just And then the kill Tony, it was called the Kill Tony regulars, and it was David Lucas, Hans Kim, and then Cam showed up. And they were like, oh no, David just puts his name on there because he's just at the he's at the mother, he's like in like Flynn now with Rogan. Like that, like he is in. So um, so Hans comes up and does like 10 minutes. Cam comes in and fucking slip uh slides, sweatpants, a white beater. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, holy shit. So then I was with my friend and I was like, I don't think this guy, David Lucas, is coming. Let's fucking bounce. I got an early morning, and I fucking meet him at the door, and I was like, oh shit, you are here. He's like, Yeah, what's up? And I'm like, no, I've seen uh I've seen your shit, man. So uh make me make me laugh, make me laugh, loud. Uh he wasn't that funny. It was the end of the night. I think he may have been gassed out from the mothership, you know. And uh so it was like, eh, but man, these recent episodes.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Yeah, they've been they've been pretty serious.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah, I mean, I just here here's what I love about it. I know I've been watching the the uh The Marvelous Mrs. Mazel, which is an older show, but it's so fantastic. I like that's great for the great for the craft. Yeah, she's the one that said irregardless. Her manager was like, it's not a word, and she's like, it is now. She's outstanding. Um so I've I I I I've been looking for inspiration. You know, you have to, I think, as a comic. Um and I did I listen to comedy, I listened to Netflix as a joke for two weeks straight up to my show. Because every opportunity I had to laugh or get an idea of a pacing or a tonality or a theme or like something of where So what happens to me is is I I think my process is a little weirder.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Um I don't really look for inspiration like in like content. Like, you don't get excited to do comedy? No, I have to go, I have to go live. Like if I feel like I'm I'm like burnt out like from doing too many shows or like whatever, I just want new material. Like I will literally take a week, two weeks off. I won't touch a mic and I'll be like, I just need to go live life for a second. Yeah, you know, and it just kind of like it's crazy because things happen, right? It's like you said. Like you can find the comedy in anything, like in the Uber driver at Publix, or like whatever, you know, and things just end up happening, and then I come back, and it's like even my old jokes will hit different just from that like moment of living life, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

I did that too. I did, but I do I take frequent long years off.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

I don't know about years. I don't know about years. I'm like a cry man, I get like a while.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

Manny's like, you know the difference between you and the rest of the comics? Manny's like, you know the difference between you and the rest of the comics in Miami? Oh, but he goes, they don't disappear. So Mandy punishes me with thank you, Miami, for disappearing. But then I just bring JJ Wheat and he's like, whatever, dog. Tuesday, Thursdays, I got you, bro. Um, that's been the cool part about the Miami community is to be able to uh you know develop some friends along the way and some like there's there is some camaraderie. Uh another another fan, uh huge fan of uh Evan Wimberly. Yes, great comic, amazing human being, super, super, super cool cat. We got a pending podcast interview going, but my very first was it my first yeah, I think it was I did there was a show at Casa Tiki way back when on Tuesday nights, and that was my first experience of Miami won't shut the fuck up so you can make them laugh type deal. And um, he was there that night, and uh that that's where I first connected. I think it was no, it wasn't. There was some there was another mic up north somewhere in like in Miami, uh Miami shores at a brewery. I think that's where we first connected.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

I don't even remember where I met Evan first, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

It was at one of the shows because it was because I was like, what up, man? He was like, yeah, but first, yeah, yeah. And I was like, well, and then I run into a show, you know how they start running into people and they get familiar faces. And um, that's what's cool about it, especially, you know, with like the you make friends with a host, that's always a plus.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Yeah, well that that many said important.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

That's the game. He goes, like, because after the Dural show, I was like, let's go! All right, what do we do now? He's like, All right, you need to start connecting with the host. Yeah, yeah. And as long as you connect with the host, you'll you'll be good. Yeah, usually wherever you go. I showed up at Dom's one time, and uh Manny was like, It's not a mic, but we got you. Don't don't bomb, all right?

SPEAKER_01 24:24

I'm like, you always follow it up. He says that to everybody though. He last what was it the day before yesterday? My days are all fucked up now, but um on Thursday at Aficionados, like I showed up and he's like, Don't fuck this up. And I'm like, when have I ever? Like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Was it back? Because it was pretty busy for the year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

It was still it was still busy.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

I left at 8:30. He's like, You're not gonna stick around to a set. I go, no, absolutely not, because the show starts at nine, which really means 10, and I gotta be up at five.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

So I did bounce, but it was good, it was a good lineup. It was uh Don Presen, um Danny Benevente, myself, Ricky Cruz. So it was it was a real solid and then JJ's a great host.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

I love how JD just writes nothing, but the guy just gets up and just rips. So that's like one of a kind, like that. The way that he does it. He was one of the first people. Actually, I sent him that set from um from Durrow. Because I was like, yo, I heard you go stunning. He's like, let me see your shit. And um, so I said he goes, All right, all right, all right, all right, I'll see you Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

I fuck with you, I fuck with you. He's so talented. Like he's he's given me a lot of gems too. Like when I've wanted to like delete my Instagram. Like, I've had times, I promise you, I kid you not, Sebasti. Like, I've sat there and told JJ, like, I just that's it. I'm done. I'm deleting everything, I'm gonna disappear. And he'll be like, don't delete it. You're gonna fuck up your algorithm. Just don't post.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

I'm like, oh this week on JJ and the Instagram algorithm. Let me tell you what's going on with your Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Yeah, no, but it's true, like you need people like that sometimes, you know, to be about to be said to be like, no, like you're tripping, like stop it.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

So so you don't do comedy full-time. Well, it seems like you do. You hit a mic like every night.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

I I'm out there. Yeah, you are.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

I'm like, I like right exhausted just watching the grind of fuck. But you have a you have a day job too.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

I do. I uh I like to say I'm a professional scammer. Um, I sell Medicare, I'm an insurance broker. I was like, transparency. I'm a scammer backed by the federal government, you guys. That's that's what I do. And how long have you been that? Uh years, like eight years. I've been doing Medicare. It's cool. I mean, you know, most of the time you really get to actually help some of these old people, but it's kind of frustrating too.

unknown 26:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

Because it makes you realize like how scared of change people are, even if it's for like their good. Yeah. You know, and like it's just it's crazy to think that we all end up in that mind frame eventually. Like the older that we all don't help. Like, I hope and I pray I never think like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

My I yeah, I was thinking about that the other day. We have a uh a new member in our networking group that meet we meet once a week, and she does Elder Law. And I was like, that's like a thing. Like this whole life.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

That's rough. Yeah, that's rough. Shout out to her. Yeah. Doing the Lord's work for real, because that's rough.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Yeah. Elder Law. Shout out to Martha Mendez, who's uh basking in Mikinos at the moment. Out of girl. Out of girl.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

Elder Law pays off, guys.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

Yeah, it does. It does. They don't even know what they're paying you. Yeah, they just fucking throw a number out there.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

They forget they paid you.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

You're like, they do. We call them every day for the same payment. Yeah. So uh, and you're a mom too?

SPEAKER_01 27:46

I am. I'm a mom. I have a 14-year-old. Um, you're on the final countdown. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

14 to 18 flies by your fucking head's gonna switch.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

I'm excited. She plays AAU volleyball though, so it's just getting more expensive and more expensive the older that she gets.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

So well, then you just kick them out at 18 and go, don't call me for money. I'll give you money, but don't call me for money.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

No, she's not. She's spoiled.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Is she uh is she thinking she wants to go to school?

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Uh she does. She doesn't know where she wants to go to school.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Is she gonna go like for volleyball?

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Uh probably. Like that's the plan. Um, right now she says she wants to go to Texas, but then like she wakes up some days and she's like, yeah, and then there's days that she's like, I don't even want to go to school here, I want to go and move to Europe. So I don't know, we'll see. She's 14, she's got time. A little bit, a little bit of time.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

I just graduated from college.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Yeah, shit's fucking fun.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Free as fuck. Like, what are you gonna do today? I go, whatever the fuck I want. Yeah, but here's the hardest part of parenting is post-18 because they want the independence, but they're still like, yo, you got a hundred bucks.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

I think that's gonna be a forever thing, though. I think that's a forever thing.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

You be but you it can't it it it there is a point in time between 18 and 22 that you have to absolutely draw a line of the sand and cut them off in a very, very healthy and productive way because you're gonna fucking ruin them. I know, but you're gonna ruin them otherwise because it's that the what you're doing, you're creating a pattern of being able to say every time I come up short, I'll just call mom because she's got me.

SPEAKER_03 29:16

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

Versus, I got me, and God forbid something comes up. I know if push comes to shove, my mom's got my back, but 85% of the time, I you know I mean I get that. I get that. I just went, I'm just saying, I I'm speaking from experience. I went through it. I tried to uh yeah, it was like teach your your kid about money and and make them responsible and save money and live within your means. And I tried to teach all these, you know, while being an entrepreneur, and um it was like, I don't know, the end of sophomore or junior year, she really started to step into her independence a little bit more. And um we were every time it came to money, we just button heads, you know. She'd be making 800 bucks a month, it costs like three, four hundred bucks a month to live, and she lives like you know, she's paid in the shade and she's all good to go. I eat the best, I got the best products, I got the best everything, and I made 800 bucks a month, and we would always have an account here where she would send money back to, and I just put it there. And that's a great way of being able to uh like at least help her. But then she'd call and be like, hey, I run out of money, I burned through my meal card. I went and I'm like, so it created so much friction for me. And I'm like, why? Where? And then eventually she goes, Hey, hey, I need you to let me learn whatever lesson is available for me pertaining to all this. I said, I tell you what.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

That's very mature of her.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Yeah, she's a great head on her shoulder, psych major. Figure those parents out, girl. Figure those parents out. So um I said, Hey, I tell you what. She goes, So I'm getting back together with my boyfriend. They broke up a couple of times. I'm getting back together with my boyfriend, and we're out finding the, you know, we're gonna figure out what we're gonna do post-graduation. He's looking for a job. I'm gonna probably stay out here. I'm not coming back home. I had booked a ticket for her to come back home just for a month and like a couple other rented a storage unit, all the normal move out of college logistics. And she called me like three weeks later and she goes, I'm not coming back like for a month. I'm just gonna, I'm staying here. And him and I got back together, and I was like, all right, cool, no problem. So, first of all, not cool. Because I spent like 500 bucks, not cool. So you're gonna pay me back. Number two, we're not doing this bailout. I'm gonna call dad. I'm gonna we're the line has been drawn in the sand. You can do whatever the fuck you want to do, and I support that process, but you can't be on the tit and do whatever. So you gotta make a decision. Figure it out. So if you want my support all around, it's gonna come with feedback, and you think that that's a lecture. She goes, No, no, no, no, I got this. You know, when I tell you, she called me last week, she said, I got a couple grand in the bank, making 21 bucks an hour working at Wawa, folding tacos. I'm in the master's program. Oh, they just rented a nicer townhouse than I even live in.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

Work at Wawa.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

What? 21 bucks an hour plus benefits? Yeah. Today time off. Uh, so yeah. So she moved to Texas with her boyfriend. They're both working at Wawa. She's in the master's program remotely, doing uh mental health counseling. That's what she wants to do. Um, and uh yeah, and I just I hear that you could you can tell a lot by the tone of your kid's voice. I don't know if you notice that or not. Um, especially females. Um I can just tell that she's like, I'm I got it, dad. Like, I'm out, I'm in this like, you know, grime mode. And you see what they take from you, which is great, the good and the bad. Um, which is cool. It is. You're like, well, she picked that one up from me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

That is so true.

SPEAKER_00 32:37

She when she she opened up from last week, and the first thing I came out, I'm like, one more time for Kayla Rusk. And I was like, yeah. I was like, and I was gonna curve some of my material tonight. And I thought, you know what? This girl spent 18 years with me. You know what's the damage is done.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

I did a set for the very first time not too long ago in front of my daughter. Um at thank you. Um, yeah, because I had I was booked and she had like volleyball practice, and it was just like one of those things like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Come on, honey, we're gonna make your ears bleed tonight.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

I was like, I don't have time to take you home. That's it. Come on, kid, like you're riding out with me. And it's funny because um we were in the car on the way over there, and I was and we were talking, and I don't know how we got into the conversation. I was like, Oh, there's this joke that I don't think I'm gonna tell tonight because you're gonna be there, she tells me. And she literally looked at me and she was like, Mom, I don't care if you tell jokes about having sex. I know you have sex, I'm here. Oh, I thought she was gonna say I do too. She was like, She was like, I'm here, I exist. Like, I know like that you and I'm like, wow, this is my 14-year-old telling me this.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

They know way more than we do.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

Yeah, so I told the joke anyways. I told the joke. I did. She laughed, it was great.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

My daughter was in the back, with I couldn't, you can only see so far, you know, when you're on stage, so you can only see so many people. And they were like in the second to last row, so I couldn't. That was actually a blessing. Yeah, because I speaking of that, I was a couple, I forgot what No, I took the opportunity to embarrass her.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

I was like, you guys, my daughter's here.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

And everybody like looked at her and she was like I there were a couple second, like mild sex jokes in there and in in the set. One that I vividly remember was like, speaking of sex, what's it like, guys?

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Well, I have that whole bit where I go into like the the hinge date and like all that stuff. So that was the joke. Oh, online dating.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

That's a great topic.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

I was like, I'm not gonna say that joke today because she's here, like you know, and she was like, I'm careful.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

Online dating is a less than pleasurable experience.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

I don't do it.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

No, no, well, you're a chick, you don't really don't need to.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

I don't do it.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Guys need it, guys need online dating.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

I I don't know. I mean, I've tried it and I just feel like it's so um impersonal.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

I just don't like explaining my data.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

I feel like it's just impersonal. It is you know, like it's true. It's like you said, like 12 people get the same cookie cutter message, and I'm like, yo, just take me off the code.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

In 30 minutes, so we're gonna go. What's your favorite color? You see, I want to do like listen, I just yeah, yeah, I want to meet somebody in real life.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

I do too. I do too.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

I've been working on it, I've been talking to girls in the produce section.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

I'm terrible though. I see that. But the only place I go out to is like to do comedy.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

I'm like, if you're you if you're eating that bacon I'm not coming over for breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

Yeah, I'm bad.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

I'm terrible at it. Well, that's I'm I'm a natural communicator. I speak for a living. Um, but when it comes to picking up women, well, I again I'm a gringo in Miami too, so it's a little more difficult, and there's a lot of very surface living in. Really?

SPEAKER_01 35:51

I feel like it would be easier for you being a gringo in Miami. Like, that's a hot commodity here. You're you're exotic.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

I met this Instacart girl the other day. Yeah, sure. I know. I'm like a fucking drink.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

We're the exotic one here.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

I am. Well, I'm going to Costa Rica on Thursday, so I'm gonna see what that's like going to South America because I hear they love the gringos.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

They do, they do.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

They love gringos and green cards. Gringos and green cards. That's what that's the name of my next show. That's the name of the Miami show.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Name this show.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

Gringos and green cards. Oh, that is outstanding. Wow. We can get that'd be great because I could get Grant.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

Exactly. Grant to do it, Grant would do it, Aaron would do it, yeah. Aaron, yeah, Sean Cat.

SPEAKER_00 36:40

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um that would be all the white guys to do it. Green cards, right? And then he's like, Manny, you're not invited. Manny, can you run the sound? Well, oh, there was a dating coach at this networking event that we were at.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

I know, I'm so mad I missed it. I was shooting another podcast. That's why I was like, I didn't see that.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

Oh, I didn't know you were gonna go. Um, no, we're gonna we're gonna keep doing it. We go. So we're gonna do it every month. We're just trying to figure out what we're doing.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Yeah, I need a matchmaker in my life.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

Yeah, yeah. She's I was I was drilling her before uh before we we got the event started about the whole online dating thing. She's she had some pretty good uh uh tips, but she was also going like through her presentation. She was like, here's the do-nots and the do's. And I was like, Manny, I don't see dick pics on the do not.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

I definitely do all the do-nots, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

Well, yeah, no, Manny goes, I got I go, Manny, I don't see any no dick pics on the do nots. He goes, are dick pics social proof? So when she was doing a QA, I was like, I don't know if this is the right room to ask that question publicly, but I really want to.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

Um You should have, why not?

SPEAKER_00 37:47

Well, there's just one guy.

SPEAKER_01 37:49

I wish I would have been there, I would have asked.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

There was a dentist there that uh one of those guys just loves to ask questions to hear himself talking and clearly Manny knows who he is because he's like, This is Joseph. He's of course you have questions, Joseph, right? And um I got up and gave a talk, like I normally do, about the power of podcasting and why you should start it, how you can grow your business, the whole line. And this ass clown decides to go, so how come I should follow your podcast if I don't even know who you are? And I was like, I don't care if you follow me or not. So it turned into a full-blown crowd work, and I ripped his tits off in that QA. So I posted a video yesterday. I was comedy's well received on Instagram. Um, I post something about podcasts, and they're like, Yeah, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

I feel like the algorithm hates my living guts. It's terrible.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

I mean it's okay. I mean, so I've had some crush, most of mine don't go that crazy, but this one, so I was like, this is a phenomenal crowd work opportunity, phenomenal, because this guy's a fucking clown. So I'm just gonna go through, and it ended up being like a good solid like minute of crowd work with me just ripping him, but also answering his questions, and everyone's like, Wow, you handled him perfectly, and I was like, because crowd work hasn't been my extreme like forte. I saw Mario Rommel do it, and I really ruined me.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

Yeah, I'm doing a lot more now for sure.

SPEAKER_00 39:03

I feel like it's ballsy, but you also are forced to you know think quick. Mario is an absolute, I mean, close to close to a virtuoso of being able to do it. And um, I love that guy. I've known him a long time. Um, even pre-comedy stuff. He was like, I think I'm I think I'm gonna jump out and start doing this full time. And I was like, think about it, dog, you are a star. He really is, man. He he really, really is. But that crowd work, ever since I saw him crush crowd work on like he did 12 minutes one night about then the whole group, the whole audience was from the UK, but nobody knew each other. He was like, Oh, right. You guys fucking with me? Yeah. Uh well, good shit. I love uh I love your your passion for the for the art, you know, and that's why I try to fuck with people that are that are that are sharing that same vision. And uh, you know, we kind of unintentionally keep each other accountable to stay in the craft by being in that community, you know. I feel like every time I click on one of your shows and like like last night was a packed fucking house, I was like, you better go.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

Fucking great. Yeah, that was so much fun last night.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

To see all that, it creates it does, if you're doing it right, I think it it creates some some momentum, um, you know, for for what we're doing here, but it takes balls through comedy, steel ovaries. Um it does. So uh stay at it. You're doing a great job. And I uh thank you, Sebastian. I love that we're appreciate that. I love that we're friends now, and uh finally got you on the podcast. It's fun to run into you at shows now. Um, and uh yeah, I hope you uh hope that Netflix special comes sooner rather than later. I tell you what, whoever gets a Netflix special first, we're we'll open up for each other.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

That sounds like do you have openers on Netflix? Well, they will now I mean you you do, right? I think somebody has to warm the crowd up. They just I know you can't just come out cold and be like I don't think it works like that. I think you do have to have an opener.

SPEAKER_00 40:54

So yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, thanks for uh making your way over to the studio here on a Saturday morning. And uh hungover. Keep making those folks. I love the honesty. Keep uh making those folks laugh, will you?

SPEAKER_01 41:06

I will, I will. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

Um I'll make sure your links are in the show notes so people can connect. Very funny, lady, ladies and gentlemen. Dinah, make sure you follow her. Um and uh listen, let's do it again sometime soon.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

For sure. Calm down. All right.

SPEAKER_00 41:22

Until next time, friend. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode of the Beyond the Story Podcast. Be sure to appreciate it. If you haven't done so already, make sure you're subscribed to the show. This way you'll get updates as new episodes become available. If you feel so inclined, please leave us a review. Signing off from the podcast, launchlab.com studios. We'll talk to you next time.