Revolutionizing Midlife For Women - Dr. Amanda Hanson

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Dr. Amanda Hanson, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to be here.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

I'm super excited that you're here. I found you on TikTok. Now that doesn't sound too crazy these days, but I mean, imagine if I called you, like you heard someone say I heard I found you on TikTok 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

No, but a year ago, my kids were saying to me, Mom, get on TikTok, you'll go viral. And I laughed at them. I'm like, I am absolutely not doing dance videos. They're like, no, mom, it's more than that. I ignored them for one year. And now they're like, see, we told you.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

I, you know, I'm not often on TikTok. I should be more than more than I'm on Instagram. But when I do get on there, you know, it sucks me in the tick in the TikTok black hole, you know. But you know, when you open up the app and it immediately goes into a video, well, that immediately goes into a video was you. And uh we were chatting before the interview, and I said, you know, your your presence is is very unique and very, very special. Um, because you just reeled me in immediately. And the video, uh, we'll talk about it and kick things off here. You mentioned going down to a uh area of Brickle here in Miami uh to meet your son for uh for some wine. And as you as you arrived, uh his female friends were in awe of your, you know, uh of your appearance and how you showed up and your skin care and your skin routine the whole night. And they asked you about that. And you sat him down and you said it's not has nothing to do with my skincare routine, has nothing to do with trying to make myself look a specific way on here, and it's it's about my soul care. And I was like, whoa, yeah. So how you know how you're how yeah, I serve myself so in turn internally, so externally, I can show up in a similar manner. Let's talk about that for a minute because that got me thinking one, I'm like, I need to be, I want to be, I want a soul care program. And number two, I need to meet this woman and have a conversation with her. So again, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Thank you so much for having me. And I'm really happy that it's, you know, and even as a male that you saw that and were able to connect and relate to the deeper message, which I think is for all of us as humans. I think so often where we go wrong, and uh, you know, not because there's anything other than a system set up to train us to look outside of ourselves from the time we are very young for constant affirmation, approval, remind me that I exist, that I matter. It is the human condition. We are all wanting to belong and feel loved and feel safe. But that's it's such a faulty system because inevitably the world, the outside affirmations are constantly a moving target, constantly changing. The people who affirm you for one thing can be opposite of the people who come along later in your life and actually affirm you for something else. So you're on this constant teeter-totter trying to assess like, where's my value? Where's my worth? And so I learned very long time ago that the best place to source my confidence, my self-love, my beauty, and everything that really mattered was from within. And people always say, well, you have to love yourself first before you can love others. And so typically we don't understand how the hell to do that. And so we continue to look up and buy the things, try to contour ourselves to look a certain way, like constantly, is this good? Am I gonna get approval for this? Will this get me all the likes, whether it's on social media or in the physical realm? So I have really trained myself, even in my mindset and my physical body, to put so much care and attention. And we and people think this is like hours and hours, it's about four minutes a day. But I've been doing it so consistently that I have literally built this belief system that I am the most beautiful woman in the world. Like that's how deeply and profoundly I have fallen in love with myself. So it is, it's unshakable. And I think that's the radiance, that's the magnetism, that's the people. And unfortunately, 20-year-old girls have no frame of reference for a woman who radiates. They think it has to be the cream you're putting on your face. It can't possibly be that you're so deeply in love with yourself and that you source from within. And so it's a concept that blew them away. And they spent three hours with me that night taking notes in their phone. Tell me what else do you do? How do you, what do you say to yourself in the mirror every morning? And what do you do if somebody says this to you? How do you handle it? They were enamored. And then I realized also on this whole TikTok journey is that one of the biggest messages I'm getting is, will you be my mom? Wow. So many girls and grown women, even grown women are like, You're the mom I never had. So I think that when we don't have a role model to look to that's further ahead to show us how do we age, how do we love ourselves as women in this world where around every corner we're being told we're not worthy, it is it is a rare thing. And I think that is essentially why it's it's taken, you know, it's taken the reaction it has.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Yeah, I uh we're working on a show right now we're launching here um for a client. And the basis of the show was created because she said, I just don't feel like women are equipped to be women when they're growing up. I just don't think they're being taught the right things or given the right things. And maybe it is situational. It's called the feminine view. I'll have to connect it with her. Um and she wants to be able to um, you know, she said the show is is to honor her mother uh who's who's uh who passed, um, but also honor her daughter and their relationship and like find out and be able to so it's been it's been very interesting to see uh her so deeply passionate about filling the voids that society has left for for women becoming women. I was grateful to have my sister and my mom um deeply impact my my daughter. Thankfully, I wouldn't have been able to pull it off that. But I also I would call women like you and convince you to let my teenage daughter in your mastermind. And at first it was like, you're crazy. And and and and it actually happened when she was 14. Uh my friend Mina invited her for her birthday just to come check out a meeting. And um, where she meets with 30 women once a month in three different areas. And my daughter went and she came home and she goes, Well, first of all, dad, Mina looks like a Disney princess. Second of all, I need to go back there. So I called her and I said, Hey, I don't want to tell you what to do with your program, but like, could you imagine getting you at 14, some 14 to 18? She goes, Let me sleep on it and I'll call you back. I'll be back the next day. She goes, Let's do it. That was, I don't know, my daughter's 21 now, so that was seven or eight years ago. And um, the program now accepts teenage girls in and also has a program just for girls going from high school to college that my daughter beta tested. So pro tip there. If you're if you're trying to really make sure your daughter is well shaped and equipped for this crazy world we're here, get her in a mastermind, even if it's not with grown women.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

Yeah, it's absolutely true. It's so true. My daughter sits around and hears so many of these conversations. And her at 19, her level of confidence, her level of how she receives herself and that she shows up in the world and what she thinks about in relation to this craziness that's exists everywhere is extraordinarily next level because she's grown up swimming in these higher level conversations that have nothing to do with external beauty, everything to do with tell me who you are inside. Tell me what your heart's feeling right now. That's what I care most about. And so when you grow up that way, that's what you automatically base every conversation, every decision on is in the inside, not the external.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Yeah, absolutely. And I've I've said that, you know, no matter I said society's a little, you know, with this whole Instagram and the whole like you are beautifully made, and don't ever get that twisted by any stretch of the imagination. I don't give three fucks what TikTok and Instagram has to say about it. Um, and her level of confidence, uh, in my opinion, um, is is and she's an introvert, so she's my opposite, which makes me crazy. But um, but um at the same time, uh, she's she's an old soul, you know, loves 90s music and like, you know, stuff before her time on here. But um, I don't know how we got on. Oh, we got to talk because women and I so as a single dad, I did the best I could do to provide the resource that I I couldn't, I can't teach you how to be a woman because I'm not a woman. Um, I but yeah, I'm I'm more of the you know, the the integrator and the regulator. And my sister was more of the hey, honey, let's sit down and have a conversation about this. So it's really grateful. You know, she's 21, we're we're never you're never done parenting, but as she becomes more of an adult, it's a different conversation with your kid.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

It really is. It's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

It really, really is. I'm I'm excited for that. So you have four kids, huh? And what are their ages?

SPEAKER_01 8:59

23, 21, 19, and 15.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Ah, so you guys were just like, we're going. That's it. Back to back to back to back to back.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Yes. My 15-year-old's in boarding school. So we got to become empty nesters about four years sooner than we would ever would have expected. So that was a surprise.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Wow. Board, they still do like boarding school is still a thing, huh? I used to get threatened with that as a child.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Yes, he he well, he chose to go because he's transgender and he picked a school in Putney, Vermont that has a large LGBTQ plus um student body because most public schools in America are not equipped to emotionally um handle transgender children in their student, you know, body. So he was, we knew it, he knew it, he had the foresight. So he really did the research. He found the school and he's really happy. It's where every human is fully celebrated.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Well, it's good to see that as we move into this um diversity inclusion um movement, I want to say, where it's it's being put back at the forefront again, or maybe at the forefront for the first time on there. Unique situations and solutions um are being created like that. So that's fantastic. I mean, being able to not be be whoever you want to be, but also be in an environment that is that is uh that is loving and understanding to to to what your you know what your world is all about. So that's awesome. That's great news. So um empty nesting is amazing, is it not? It's just fantastic. I mean, it's just like holy, is this real life? I'm like, I might eat dinner at 9 30 tonight.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

It's like a little bit too good to be true. And to watch our bank account like rise in ways that it was like so much more money was going out now that we have kids having real jobs, and it's incredible. My husband and I were just talking this morning over our coffee. We recently just purchased a boat because the plan is we moved to Fort Lauderdale five weeks ago. The plan is that we're gonna try to spend one week a month, let's see if it actually happens, in the Bahamas and start like this whole new chapter and adventure just for us. Because for so many years, for over 20 some years, it's been basketball games and volleyball games and hockey games and dance recitals. And for the first time, we're feeling like, oh my gosh, our weekends are wide open. What should we do? And there's only so many times you can sit by the pool. There's only so many restaurants you can go to. So we're like, let's create a whole new adventure. Let's start traveling to the Bahamas. So let's see how that goes. We've got a lot to learn. It's gonna be quite a riot.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Did you know that there's 160 different, I think 160 different Bahamian islands?

SPEAKER_01 11:30

I'm learning this.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

I did not realize crazy, crazy, crazy. We did a social media cruise um with uh Norwegian. One of my crazy ideas, probably 10 years ago. And the Bahamas was the sponsor, uh, we one of the was one of the sponsors. And part of the deal was when we went to Nassau, they were gonna pick us up and give us a Bahamian breakfast and give us a whole the whole dog and pony show of the Bahamas and everything. Well, part of that dog and pony show, we're talking about all of the islands in the Bahamas, and there was like 160 or something crazy, and like they went through a couple of them that are like you get way down into the islands, and there is, I mean, we say like little fishing towns, and when I say paradise, you're like, This even exists. So that was the first thing I thought. I used to spend a lot of time in Bimini, which is you know stone's throw, about a two-hour boat ride from where we're at here. So um, I love it down there. I absolutely love it.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

I'm super excited. I've been to the Exumas, so we'll see what happens.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Um that is, yes, that that I think that's one of the ones they were that they mentioned. I was like, what? But that's good. So you guys have to you're you essentially have to put on the lifestyle army and you're constantly um, well, for the for the most part, but the kids are out of the house now. So it's like, how do we re how do we redesign a new lifestyle and like architect and uh architect, you know, what what our next move is here because it's got to be new and unfam. I mean, gosh, you spent 18 years with kids and then it's just you two. Was it what's that adjustment look like?

SPEAKER_01 12:53

I'm always well, thankfully, we've always we've really nurtured the marriage a lot. I mean, I did file for divorce 12 years ago. We worked our way through that. We've had some real dark nights of the soul. I saw the marriage, yeah. We've married 26 years, but I would say we've only been happy, maybe a half or quarter of those. And that's just the reality for a multitude of reasons. Um, it's a hell of a it's a hell of a thing to work through. But I will say we we had so much worth trying to salvage, and it was it's beautiful that we're on the other side of it to the point now where we look at each other. Last week we were having a glass of wine out on the back deck, and it was beautiful night out, and we were listening to music, and he turned and looked at me, and I I could feel him looking at me. I look back and he had tears in his eyes, and he said, I can't imagine not having this moment. I can't imagine if we would have given up on each other because we always were so passionate, we cared so much. And I think for us, which is unusual and even a little bit strange to say, having kids as much as we loved it, it actually drove a wedge further and further between us because we were a couple who really loved being together. And so what's fascinating as we've been able to work through all of this heartbreak and things that have, you know, things I was like withholding and had walls up for different reasons because of my own past. Now that we've been able to get to the other side of it, it's this real understanding of like, oh, this is what's always been missing. We wanted to be together all the time. And he was like doing a hockey tournament this way, and I was doing a soccer tournament this way. And I think like sometimes American families are set up. I have European girlfriends who look at us and think, you're all crazy. This is like the destruction of the family. It's like we're in 9,000 different directions on the weekends. We're never together being a family. And I just got weary and I got exhausted. And for so many different reasons, we got further and further apart. And so it's like, wow, we actually almost got divorced because I at the base of it was that we wanted so much to be together and we couldn't even find our way back because of all the noise and the chaos and the life. We thought it was each other we didn't want anymore, but in reality, we really wanted to be together. We couldn't figure out how. So now we are back in the we're like, we're like honeymooners. It's the craziest thing. He's like, babe, okay, listen, what time are you done working? All right, I've made a reservation here and then we're gonna do this. And we just got new jet skis recently. And last Saturday, we had so much fun. We were like kids. We went from one restaurant to another, to another on our jet skis, having a blast, laughing so hard at that. I was gonna pee myself. But so I said to him this morning over coffee, I can't, I really understand how couples who've built their entire life on the family, on the kids. And then when the kids leave, they look at each other and this feeling of like, now what? Yeah. So this this importance of nurturing the relationship because when the kids are gone, there I can imagine there would be such a void between the two people if they haven't found ways to keep connecting.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

Well, you find you're you you you base the relationship on the kids in the family, you know. And it sounds, you know, in and when then the kids go away, it's like, well, it's just us. I mean, we don't, it's it's not what we're used to or what we, it's it's unfamiliar, I guess. And I I think like a lot, and I'm I'm I I'm not a successful family creator. I have a kid and I raised her. That's the all like the extent of I can do it. Relationships, marriage, I've not been gifted with that opportunity uh yet. Come close, but um I so I don't know anything. But my my my observation, there's the word I'm looking for instead of assumption. My observation is that when um you know you get married and like your you your husband, you and your husband are a great example. You guys got married and you loved being together. Then the kids came along and that separated and drove that wedge there. And I think you subconsciously start resenting each other because it's like fuck, all we want to do is hang out, and instead I'm at parent pickup. And uh, you know, it's it's that so it's interesting. It's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

So and it's not something a lot of people want to talk about because you it feels safer to resent the other adult than the kids. It's not safe, you know, you brought them into the world, right? So you can't blame them for something they didn't ask for. So the safest thing is to resent the other adult, and then you know, it's it's a really damn tricky way. It's really tricky to exist in America in a system that is built on like weekends, are and it's all money, right? Like every every parent I know is like, oh, your kid, I mean, your kid has the opportunity to go pro. Oh, we've never seen a player like this one before with a little bit of personal training and extra coaching time on the side. And next thing you know, you're just shelling out the money, the money, the money. And then it's like this big racket. So several years ago, when they were, I said, listen, if you all aren't really like loving every single minute of this, just know that whenever you're ready to walk away, you've got mom and dad's full support. You don't have to stay in any of these damn sports if your heart and soul is not in it. Some of them did, some of them didn't. But um, yeah, it's it really puts a uh wedge between families.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Yeah. So if you're listening to this right now and you're just getting started, you're getting married, you're gonna have some babies and do all that stuff. Make sure that you prioritize each other and the family and realize that when these kids get there, they're gonna be a huge distraction to the relationship. And my act is.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Having a child will solve nothing, it will create more problems.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Little fuckers. Uh and I'm telling you. Um, so 26 years, that's quite the accomplishment. What do you think? So, what do you think has been the glue to like keep it all together? Was it the was it uh was it various reasons throughout the different stages of of of the relationship?

SPEAKER_01 18:29

I think I'm a little bit masochistic. I think there's like a piece of me that really wants to, I love exploring like the dark side and my shadow side. And I was I was relentless in the pursuit of understanding why I continued to make it so hard and why I continued to push him further away, and why I continued to shut down and why I continued to be angry or resentful. So I was in so much self-study of trying to understand. I mean, most women probably, if they had felt the way I was feeling, would have just left or walked away. Um, but I was very curious about constantly learning and doing better and really excavating. I understood very clearly that, well, yes, I could leave this relationship. I could get into a new one. The first six months will be incredible. The sex will be out of this world. I will think this was the person. But I'm smart enough to know that, like the old saying, no matter where you go, there you are. And I knew that six months later, a year later, with anybody else, I would be looking at the same woman in the mirror with the same issues, who still wasn't willing to get vulnerable, who still was only willing to like you safeguard my heart and give you just enough, but still keep myself in power and control so that you could never really hurt me. And so it wasn't until I was literally like in the fetal position on the floor saying, I'm ready to show you who I really am. I'm ready to show you what I'm terrified of, what I worry about. Um, I'm ready to show you all the things that I think you think of me, most of them aren't even true. You think I'm so strong, you tell me all the time I married you because you're so strong, you're so powerful. That's most of that's a cover for how sad I feel inside, for how scared I feel inside. Like that's a defense mechanism, right? That's that was my old mode of operating. So when I I opened up and peeled off all these masks, all these layers, which was so raw and hard, it was through that process he was able to actually access me. It's like, oh my God, there she is. There's that tender, soft, beautiful woman that I've been waiting for her to like, I was so angry for so long. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Wow. I love that. I'm so encouraged by this, by the way. Um yes, I do believe people send their representative most of the time instead of being themselves.

unknown 20:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

Yeah, I I really do. And that's why I just I've I've outgrown so many spaces and places and so many friendships because I I can't I spent so many years living like that. I it's exhausting. I would leave, you know, events or parties fatigued with the small talk and the um so now it's like I've got my hand, you know, my handful of girlfriends, my core people, and it's it's raw and it's real and it's so beautiful. And that's all I want to spend time doing when I am not working is spend time in the realness of this life.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

So much freedom there. It really is.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

It's so I ran into an old friend from gosh, I don't know, 10 years ago, and we had another mutual friend, and uh he's like, You should you still talk to him? And I said, No, I I I do not at all. Um oh you should reconnect with him. And I said, you know, I'm I'm I'm good. Um our last conversation was was less than pleasurable, and I just you know, we grow out of people was the was the was what I what I had shared with him. I said, But I, you know, I hope both of you are doing great. It's great to see you. And uh, you know, I'll see you around. And I walked away. And the reason that relationship didn't work out a few years ago is because it was blindly. disrespectful to me in in in in public. And I and I was at that point, I was relentless with the boundaries. I came out swinging, right? Right when you start putting boundaries in place, you're like relentless with them. So I was, you know, is that it was that meeting with Edward Scissorhands. Like you can't just cut people out like that. It's Edward scissor hands all over the place. So like, watch me, hold my beer, watch this. And um I felt empowered when that did happen because I'm like, oh no, sir, wait, you will not yet my sister what my sister always says you you do not have permission to speak to me that way. Yeah. And there's a lot of power. Uh in fact she said it to me multiple times. That's why I know it so damn well. But um I'm teaching it to my daughter. But at the same time, you know, we we grow out of people and that sometimes that includes family too. You know, family's the first one to you know to to to to point the finger when you're doing something wrong. And the other first one to shit on all your ideas and goals and aspirations sometimes and you've got to compartmentalize them and love them where they're at and most of the time that's from a from a distance you know what I mean and not necessarily you know cutting people off. I mean contingent upon how you choose to live your life but um growing out of people is definitely a thing I you know the circle's getting smaller and smaller. Drake's song No New Friends makes a lot of sense actually it it totally you know because you get to and I think you know I'm gonna be um I'm gonna be a a gigantic person of impact. I already am but I'm gonna be I'm gonna be known for it I'll I'll be a I'll leave a legacy I'm I'm confident of it and I know that once you get to a certain status uh of success yeah everybody wants to be your friend and everybody wants to date you and all the everybody that said no and shit on all your ideas and goals when you were coming up is all of a sudden readily available. So my question is how do I combat that and how do I prepare myself for that because that's a crazy world out there. You know to much to much is given much is expected and I want to maximize my time and impact with my gift as much as I can but how do you you know how do you decipher you know who's who uh and I think it's carefully cultivated relationships and keeping that circle like you said you got your handful of girls that you know like and trust and love. And it's a it's a it's a it's a it it fills your heart up when you spend time with those individuals. But when life shows up too it feels great to be able to pick the phone up and say hey listen here's what I'm up against.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Absolutely it's really fascinating. And I think it's for me it's like following my intuition you know and when women sign up to work with me one of the very first things I tell them I'm like so here's one of the side effects of working with me. Like there's all these beautiful things that are going to happen in your life but there's one side effect I really want you to know about most people to take inventory of most of people in your circle right now. Many of them you will outgrow in the journey we're about to take because the spaces and places I will take you unless those friends are also willing to do that same kind of inner work, you won't have much to connect with them on any longer. It'll be more in the past and in the memories of shared experiences and less in who you are now and where you're going. Because my work has such a depth and like a really ancient piece about it that if other women aren't doing that, we can't have these surface conversations any longer.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

We are such a mismatch energetically yeah the yeah I don't have any time on the surface like we already live in a society where you know I'll sell you my bullshit and then you sell me yours and we'll call it a deal. And I just I want to like you said what how's your heart? I think how are you doing cool? Yeah but how's your heart?

SPEAKER_01 25:19

You know and and a lot of people can't answer that heart it's great last time I went to the doctor you know I mean right exactly and I think you wanted to to touch on something like especially for anyone who's listening in regards to family members sometimes when they're shooting down all the ideas or they believe it's dumb idea or you can't do it. It's never going to happen.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

It's not going to make enough money I also often I think under there somewhere is this unconscious fear that we are going to surpass or outgrow oh 100 for sure without a doubt in my mind because your lack thereof of your life choices um you you are now triggered by by my success based on your lack thereof of the choices you did or did not make I 100% believe that.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

A million percent and you know my mom said to me when I closed down my my private practice and decided to go exclusively online two years ago my mom said to me and I know it was coming from a loving place inside of her but she said to me why do you need so much attention and I said I'm really confused. What do you mean by that? And she's like only people who want attention are having Instagram pages. I said mom that's actually my marketing tool that's how I clients would find me. And then we we dug deeper in this conversation and I'm like oh I get it you think that because I'm showcasing my business or anything that's happening on Instagram that I'm somehow getting attention because my mom was raised in a time in her life and especially by parents who said be quiet.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Yeah nobody wants to hear your opinion I was going to say that's that's a generational thought process.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Yes. And so if you're on the internet sharing your opinion about things that's many that are controversial in my mom's lens it means you're doing it to get attention as opposed I'm doing it to liberate, to free, to educate, to up level. So it's a really fascinating so if if I would have just stopped the conversation out why are you doing that to get attention and been like shut down and irritated by her, I would have never gotten to the further subterranean issue that was going on that actually her interpretation is when women are that vocal, regardless of what they're being vocal about, they're just they're just hungry for attention because that's how she was raised to believe.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

Sure. Yeah we and again if you're doing it right then it you you recognize that it's your opportunity to to break these generational curses that have taken place. You know a lot of it's poverty a lot of it's I I've had to do that the conversation around money and this whole I think about my mom a lot when when we're you know in a group chat about about those generational uh you know traits that that continue and my sisters really help follow suit too where I was like hey listen this is ending with with my daughter like this is this whole like we can't afford it it must be nice I don't have the money for that I mean all you're doing is just letting the world know exactly where you want to stay and be stuck on there. It's just incredible and my you know my mom would from time to time will slip up and be like must be nice and I go you know what it is it is outstanding because I made it this way because you taught me right the hustle right yeah it's so true energetically I work with clients who are building business female entrepreneurs as well as like a side hustle in addition to like all this other life development stuff that I do.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

And and we talk about that before we do anything we are getting your mindset clear and straight because you have to be in a place and space energetically to the universe to the world that says I am worthy to receive I am open to the gifts that will come my way. And it's fascinating especially for women there's so much a fear around what will happen. Will I still be liked will people still love me if I am this independent woman making her own money. So there is a concern about that that has to be solved for before women can actually begin their entrepreneurial journey.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

I had to write that down. That was that was a good one. I am open to the gifts coming my way I wrote that right below another one that I was told a couple of months back that I I love and I write it down every day. And that is um favor tracks me down. So a lot of people say favor follows me some would even say favor ain't fair and it's not it's not fair at all, but I say favor tracks me down.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Oh I love that I just feel like when we are leading from heart and belief and trust I the the world responds. It is fascinating I I said five weeks ago in a mastermind that I am a participant in I said in front of all the mastermind or women in my group okay I'm ready and they they said ready for you know because we all have our hot seat time I said I I'm declaring it here and now I'm ready and they said ready for what I said I'm ready for celebrity status. Two days later I posted a TikTok I finally decided to like I'm doing this went to bed woke up and it was going viral and it is fascinating now what's happening even in this town of Fort Lauderdale even what's happening with all of the big Fortune 500 companies reaching out to me and I I put an intention I got to the place where I'm like and now I'm ready. I'm ready to be the celebrity status of the self-help development world for women I put the intention out there the universe matches my energy and says you ready? How about in 48 hours let's make this shit happen. And here we go. And now people are stopping me in Fort Lauderdale asking to take pictures with me. I'm like this is fucking crazy. It is I but if I was shut down which before I was like well I don't know I think I just want to kind of like fly under the radar do my thing it was like when I got to that place where like no and now I'm ready with all alignment all heart and soul on board everything happens. And it is not lucky it is not I I mean you know when people even say to me every so often very rarely surprisingly but every so often there'll be a comment on TikTok like oh must be easy for you you have money or you have this I'm like it's fascinating you didn't see the 30 years of hustle it took me here. You just see this snapshot this three minutes in time you don't know the backstory you don't know about the food stamps you don't know all the nights that we were like trying to figure out how are we going to even pay this bill. Sure. So it is also interesting I just bless and release all of that. I'm just like I just bless and release the energy and the sad thing is for every person who comes on there and says that I know that unless they change their mindset they will forever be stuck.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

Right. Yeah the yeah victim bill is real it is uh you know and some people don't even know they're in it so they're you know and again I and I that was the only way I was able to to work through some family members that I wanted to just you know I want to punch them in the throat every time that I saw them and somebody said to me um you want you want to know the solution to that I said sure and she said compassion I'm like are you fucking crazy have you met this person? She goes could you imagine being that person? Could you imagine going through life every day like that and I'm like whoa and um I I try to take that with me as much as possible. It's hard to do so people cut you off you want to honk the horn and you know and and get mad and for no reason. You know that's a stupid example but you that that that you know compassion will take us a very very long way uh you know with with other people but people give themselves away it's it's it's pretty you know it's it's pretty simple but it you you shown up for yourself. That's why you're reaping the rewards you've shown up for yourself and your family and the people that you're serving now and and and now you're stepping up even more and saying I'm ready. Like I'm ready here we are you know let's rock I just don't think a lot of people are I learned that lesson I think that's what really reignited my passion 12 years ago when I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do. I met a girl that was working for Tony Robbins uh at the time still works for him to this day and um got got linked up through a mutual friend said you guys should totally meet and we sat down and uh met her for happy hour. I'll never forget it. And she said so what's next? And I said I don't know and she looked at me and she goes that's a fucking problem and I'm like these are my offended days and I'm like what are you so I'm like you know what enlighten me why why is what I'm doing with my life a problem and she goes I'm gonna tell you are you ready? I go yeah absolutely she goes let me ask you a question who's missing out because you don't show up and I was like what and when when I tell you that I remind myself every time you never you're never gonna feel like it ever ever never ever ever but I asked myself is this about you are you a selfish taker asshole or are you in service? What do you want to do? I mean it's entirely up to you because this isn't about you I've been doing comedy for about a year now and um it's tough to get to a bar at nine o'clock and do a set and for five minutes and just go home and like I don't I'm not trying to be a famous comedian. I'm just trying to improve my communication skills. So I'm like I don't know I don't know what I tell a friend the other day I don't I just don't know what I'm really getting out of it. And somebody said well what if it's not about what you're getting out of it but maybe somebody had a rough day and they showed up and they just want to laugh I love this answers are everywhere ladies and gentlemen if you're everywhere. If you're listening I mean it's it's just it's wild I was I was on Twitter spaces it's like their clubhouse version it's their social audio app it's incredible and um there was a girl asking for for help with her brand and she was in midlife and um I I think so that was like the gist of the story. So when I went and gave some feedback you know she made a joke about like I don't know maybe I can start a podcast about you know the fact that I pee when I laugh and or something like that. I don't know what it was or she mentioned menopause or I don't know what it was. I got it all wrong because she's like I'm not in menopause I was just using that example. I was like sorry. God formit I was giving right I was giving whole that whole like I'm like you could totally like there is a tribe out there waiting for you to serve and pour into them that are in that mid midlife phase of life that are you know transitioning and that want to support especially for women that you know they really seek to to have that you know intimate community where you know of like minded individuals on here. It was so funny and I had I think I'd reach out to you like a day before that and I didn't even put two and two together. So I was like I'm like you could totally build something like that and I'm like it's I'm putting it all I just pieced it all together just now.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

But I was like I was literally giving this girl advice about creating a brand to help women specifically in that niche of midlife well because there's nothing I did the market research I I I knew what I was saying yes to I'm like I'm sitting on the precipice of something really big here. There's nothing and I would type in the word midlife two years ago when I was doing my market research type in the word midlife I wouldn't even finish the word midlife and it would complete the search and say midlife crisis. Everything you could get your hands on for women in midlife was so depressing. And I thought God this is so opposite the experience I'm having I've never felt so alive so sexy so sensual so turned on so powerful so in my voice in my body there's got to be an alternative what if we create a different way of like showcasing and seeing midlife and that's when like the women lined up and came and it's been the most unbelievable I don't want to say it's been effortless but I got to be honest with you Sebastian it's it's been pretty incredible. Like all you I just paved the way and the women got in line on the path because they're starving they're starving for a different narrative for midlife women.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

So so let's break this down. So what exactly do you do to to to to work with women and how does your whole brand and business work somebody's listening they're like holy guy I got to meet her. I want to connect with her let's just give everyone a good like 3000 foot perspective about it.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

Yeah essentially there are a handful of ways to work with me I have programs that you can either sign up with groups, large groups of women there's like my eight week program which starts in July and it's called Queen's inauguration. It really is the essence I do a lot of work and how do you move from living like a baby princess to the queen um and there's and that covers every aspect from mind, body, soul, spirit, sensuality, sexuality, ancestral healing like I take women through embodiment mindset every week for the eight weeks is a different um tier of how I live my life my own paradigm that I've created um pieced on like things I've learned and nuggets over the over my lifetime that have me so deeply embodied, feeling so alive and turned on all the time. So that eight week program uh teaches women really the foundation of how to live in this feminine energetic in midlife but I have a lot of 30 year olds who sign up too because they're like, I want to get way ahead of this curve. And then I have mastermind programs where women work with me for very deep dives. It's only 10 women per pod and we do six months of journey together. At the end we go to Greece to celebrate for four days. Women work with me for six months privately one-on-one for a year. I have voxer support I have VIP days um so there's just so many ways uh to have access to me. But the women who are in Voxer it's it's a you know free app and they just have me essentially in their back pocket for real time tips and advice on what to do with relationships, what to do at work, what to do in all kinds of pieces and places in their life. So they have access to me Monday through Friday.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

Amazing and where's the best place for people to to to find out more and connect with you on my website amandahanson.com H-A-N-S-O-N. And that's going to be in the show notes. That's the description of this podcast episode in case you're wondering what in the world a show note is so you'll be able to connect with her as well as all of her social links too. I am thoroughly um impressed and such and so so grateful for the opportunity to to connect with you Amanda. You are doing work that matters and uh it's emotional just like to to even to get the charge to to be able to connect with other people and I feel very aligned with you as far as doing the you know the work that we're doing to be able to serve a greater purpose than ourselves and be able to impact people and leave them different. But more importantly watch people go from from where they think they they're stuck and they're and they're they're they're there for good to to becoming who they were designed you know to to be to to be. And I firmly believe that you know there's a calling on all of our lives. There's no doubt about that at all. And um the only the only question is whether or not you're gonna answer that calling. And I the reason I decided that I I wasn't going to just sit on the sidelines was that as part of that calling people are assigned to us and um who are we to not show up for those people assigned to us and what's possible by answering that calling and and taking responsibility for those people that we serve. So uh it's my honor to to have a conversation with you today and become friends with you. I think this is uh the beginning of many great conversations and I just really appreciate you taking time out of your day to hang out with me. Keep keep rock and rolling the the best is yet to come I can feel it. It is it's gonna come fast. So buckle up.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Yes I'm here for it. Thank you so much for having me. It's really been a pleasure for me. And I I just feel I mean I talk to a lot of people and as uh a woman speaking to a white man thank you like really from the bottom of my heart thank you thank you for your leadership for my sons for all the men in the world for doing the work you needed to do that you were willing to do to get to the man that you are now because I think you and I could both agree and probably anyone listening, there's a big gap in self-development for men in particular. And I'm so it's so good to see you leading and having these conversations in the way that you are and I too believe there's a massive movement at hand here where men need to come together under leadership that is that is real and that is trustworthy and that says hey I was there I was angry I was whatever and look where I am now and look how free I got to be and let's fucking do this. It gets to be unbelievable. So thank you for that it's so powerful.

SPEAKER_00 41:24

I agree I and I I didn't even think about that but you're exactly right and I probably should have thought about that because I took a male masculinity class or course excuse me uh last year and it was going from prince to kinghood and it was identifying doing shadow work and all this other yeah yeah so it was called uh K4 and just intense stuff and they do offline retreats and up in the mountains and zip lining and it's you know lots of lots of combat vets and and uh MMA fighters and manly men, you know very merry menly men. And uh but just an incredible experience. It was a 90 day journey uh it was all online we had different pods and the whole was you know created the container and you know the whole like deal so good stuff I had to I got I gotta I gotta circle back they they wanted to start a podcast to hit me up that was the last time I talked to them on there but uh to see how things are going. But yeah it's called K4 I think something like that for you but for men. I had a friend call me female female coach um uh and said hey listen there's like a Mina meetings but for guys um are you in and I'm like yes say no more she's like it's like 500 bucks I go I don't care I had just gone through a breakup and I came home and I'm like yes yes yes yes and yes so I joined it and I'm like whatever's on the other side of this is gonna be and I had done a little bit of that work but really being able to get in and have conversations every week with men on like hey let's let's talk about the gold and let's talk about the shadows you know it's just incredible and I have no filter especially in a small group like that like I'm gonna let it loose and that paves the way for other guys the ones that normally are are are hiding and and and and not talking as much to be like well here's what's really going on at home you know so yes it's so true I love that you're you're leading in that way so thank you thank you so much absolutely thanks again Dr. Hansen you're amazing uh friends make sure you connect with her check her out if ladies if you're a fit for what she's got going on and you feel compelled and called to it definitely connect with her I highly recommend that you do so uh we'll have to have you uh back on the show sometime give us an update on your world domination one woman at a time will do until next time friends