The Hidden Beliefs That Are Quietly Running Your Life- Rob Reynosa

SPEAKER_01 0:07

A show that goes way beyond the story. Stop. Rob, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Thank you, Sebastian. Nice to be here, man.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Hey, good to see you too, man. Thanks for taking some time out of your busy day to hang out with me for a few minutes. Pretty wild. I was like, I think we are we literally ran into each other. Um, we live in this similar neighborhood over here and uh ran each other on the walking path. Literally, you're walking one direction, I'm walking the other. We literally ran into each other. I'm like, I think I know you. I don't know where I know you, but I know you, or and I I know your girl too, I think. It might just be Instagram. You know how that is with social media these days. We're just making shit up. And, you know, you're one of those cats where you know you just meet somebody and just instant homies, and you're like, I don't even know why we haven't been homies all along, probably because we hadn't met before. But um, here we are. Funny how that works. No mistakes, right? Right, right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

So that day, dude, I was actually filming a video and I had the phone out in front of me. And then I saw you walking across, and I'm like, oh, I don't want to fucking film and have this guy thinking I'm filming him. And then you were already kind of smirking at me. And I was like, see this guy already thinks I'm trying to film him. And then you're like, hey, you started, you introduced yourself again. You're like, you're Rob, right? And I'm like, oh shit. That's how we reconnected. But yeah, man, that was cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

It was wild, bro. It was wild. I will, you know, we're both in the people business. So meeting new people that we're aligned with, same thought process. Um, and uh both entrepreneurs, both coaches. Um, funny how it all works out, ain't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Yep, it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

So um, so you're a coach, you specifically coach men, is what your primary focus is. On this show, I like to tell people stories and for our listeners to give them some context. I always like to go back to the beginning of the story. Now, Rob, the beginning is is different for everyone. So you decide what that beginning point is for you. But let's spend a few minutes, bring us back to the beginning of the story where you first started and walk us through what brought you to present day with what you do with your coaching business.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Absolutely, Sebastian. And just to clarify, I coach men, women, and I coach teenagers. Just kidding. That's what I meant. And it makes sense because of what I'm about to share with you, how it all started, why it all started. So back in 2011, I want to say I had a spiritual awakening. I'm sure you know what that is. Basically, your whole world just falls apart. The illusions of life just crumble in front of you. And um, I had realized that I was in a relationship. I was married at the time. Uh, we had a daughter together, we have a daughter together. And uh all of it was a lie, dude. Like I was with her because of insecurities, um, my own insecurities. Um, wasn't certain about myself, didn't know where I was going in life. All of this stuff that I thought I knew, because I had a great paying job, a great looking life on paper. Everything seemed like it was put together well, but none of it was making sense to me, especially when I was going through this transformational period of my life. Um, fast forward, a couple years forward from that, um, I decided to, we decided to end the marriage, to end the relationship. And from that day on forward, I made it my mission to basically figure out what the hell is going on with me, because I thought I was going crazy, man, to be honest. When you have uh everything going for you and everything looks fine, and then all of a sudden you're like, yeah, I don't want any of this. None of this makes sense. I don't feel connected to any of it anymore. Your family's gonna think you're psycho, right? And so um my mission was to master my mind. I didn't know what that meant by back then. And um, I obsessively read everything I could get my hands on, listened to YouTube videos, podcasts weren't really that big back then. And um I slowly but surely started to uh talk about my journey online. Fast forward 2014. Um, Instagram was already popping. I had a lot of friends telling me, hey man, you should get on there. It's free marketing. I know you want to start your own business. I had these entrepreneurial type dreams. And uh I started to just kind of share what I was going through, my experiences, like really deep personal experiences of you know, meditation, um, shadow work, personal growth, challenging my identity, challenging my limiting beliefs, etc. And through that sharing, um, I started to build like amazing relationships all around the world. My audience grew, was not planning on doing any of that. I was just writing, just sharing it. And then um, over the course of, I want to say maybe two or three years, I had people asking me, hey, do you do coaching? Like, what do you offer? Like, this is amazing what you do. I dude, I had no offers. I had no uh aspirations to become a coach at the time. And uh I said, yeah, yeah, I offer coaching. And I just kind of made up a number and I said, This is how long I work with you, this is what we do. Of course, made it all up. And um, it just led one thing into another. And it was around that time in 2014, I had read a book called Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill. Have you read that book before?

SPEAKER_01 5:12

Outstanding book. The narration's incredible, dude.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

It's amazing. So, in that book, as you know, it talks a lot about um human conditioning and mental warfare, but not used in those terms, but basically how the world is designed to have us play small and to think, uh, to not think for ourselves, to not be independent thinkers. And it was that term, independent thinker, that stuck with me. And I was like, that's that's what I'm striving to be, is an independent thinker, is to think for myself and create my own life. But there was also another section in there that talked about kids and about the youth. My daughter at the time is around six or seven years old, and it's talking about how kids are conditioned from an early age on to uh not question authority, to follow the rules, to not think creatively, uh, to basically plug themselves into a system and just listen to their authority figures. And I was like, hell no, this is exactly what I'm not teaching my daughter to do. I'm teaching her how to question everything, like question every part of reality, even me. Like, if you have questions about what I'm asking you to do, ask me. I'm more than happy to answer you. And I don't know what it was, dude, but something deep in my heart felt connected to the youth, to kids, to like getting this information out into kids, into in front of kids. And I think mainly it had to do with like me learning about um, what do you want to, how do I want to say it? Like the mechanisms of the mind, right? Like all is mind, everything comes from mind. Uh, you set intentions, you think about it, you believe in it, you work your ass towards it, and it happens. It will come into fruition. And the overriding question I had was like, why wasn't I taught this in school? Right. So combining these questions I had about why wasn't I taught this in school? What's this new information that I'm just now getting exposed to? Why is my life now working out, working in my favor? How am I now transitioning from this past life that I used to live where I didn't know who I was, what I was doing? Oh, I forgot to mention 2011, when I entered that spiritual uh awakening, I used to party a lot. Like I used to do a lot of drugs, used to drink, used to go out. Um, all of that stopped when that most of it stopped around the spiritual awakening part. So fast forward back again, like this whole life I left behind, I thought like that. That's that was part of my old identity. And this new life I was creating, it was all coming from this new knowledge that I was that I was uh coming in contact with. I had to get this in front of kids, but the only way to get it in front of kids is to get it in front of their parents. And so when I took on this this coaching role, um, there was a huge push on my end to have this knowledge, you know, have to have the parents have the parents I'm working with have them share it with their kids. So now the parents are coming back to me and they're sharing with me like what they're sharing with their kids. They're like, hey, uh, my kid sucked at baseball and now he just hit a home run. I had him visualize before he went up to bat over and over again, hitting a home run. Uh, six months later, now he's the all-star kid of the team, right? And like these are like multiple stories are coming back to me of the parents I'm coaching and working with. They're sharing this stuff with the kids. Now they're bringing their kids to me to help them out in their sports and athletics and school, uh, character development, personal development, and whatnot. Uh, but yeah, man, it those are the starting steps. Those are a lot of the things that happened. That's how that's how I got into coaching. And um around 2017 was when I left my job. I used to work at the port in Long Beach as a longshoreman. And uh I went all in on my dream. I went all in to go full entrepreneur as a coach. And around that time is is when I met my girlfriend, Angie, whom you met, uh, who lives here in Miami. And um I want to say what, two, three years after that, that's when COVID happened. And I was doing a whole long-distance relationship going back and forth like every two weeks between LA and So you met her when she was in, she was visiting LA? No, I met her, so as we always say, it went down in the DMs. So so I saw I saw a picture of her one time and I was like, who is this chick? I'm gonna be honest with you, all right? This is like straight, I haven't really said this in public before. I I had never heard a Miami accent before. And so when I first saw her talk or heard her talk, I was like, what the f what is that? Like, what is that sound that came out of her voice?

SPEAKER_01 9:32

One of a kind, bro.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

One of a kind, yeah. And so I didn't really like, we didn't really talk for a couple months until I reached out to her again. And you know, we were in contact for for business matters per se. And when I showed interest and she showed interest back, I ended up telling her, I was like, Yeah, I had never heard of a Miami accent before. Like I've I've never been to the East Coast, and now it's familiar and now I'm used to it. But at first I was like, what is this? And so, anyways, uh around COVID, that's when I moved out here. Um, and I never left. And I'm here in Miami now, and I built my business out here in Miami. Uh, built a whole network of friends out here. Um, and I just want to add this in too, man. I I didn't have any friends when I came out here, dude. The only friends I had were her friends, which are really her friends. And I remember thinking to myself, like, if anything happens between us, like I have nobody. And I use the same stuff that I teach my clients to use. I wrote down a list of all the qualities I want in friendships, what I want that to look like. And within six months, dude, I had a shitload of friends that were all matching this list that I had written down.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Funny what happens when we write shit down, huh?

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Yeah, dude, absolutely. I mean, that's how I manifested her too. I wrote her down, the literally the qualities that I wanted in a female, things that we would do together. She's athletic, she's fun, she likes to run. Same stuff. It all came true. But yeah, man, I used everything that I learned from 2011 on to basically recreate my life out here in Miami and relationships and money and success and whatnot. But that's that's the gist of my story.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

I love that, dude. Well, I mean I always like to say I end up a lot of a majority of my talks with the same line and and proposing question. Um some would call it a declaration, if you will, that it all starts with the decision and it starts right now. You made that decision while at the port in a job that you probably fucking hated. To say, you know what? I got more in me. There's more in me. Plus, we have the spiritual awakening, plus I've had too I've seen too much to not know that there's something else out there for me. And I don't know what it is yet, but I'm gonna go find it. And you continue to curiosity plays a huge part in all this. Staying curious to what's possible out there, but most importantly, realizing that we just don't know what we don't know. And as long as we're willing to stay curious and continue to show up and continue to get um in in the in the in the details of what we want and write them down and then start to take action, imperfect action, or often solves a majority of life's problems. And that's what you've been able to do. You've been able to build a successful coaching business where it's not just uh exchanging time for money. You're getting you're helping people get real results. You're helping people do exactly what it is that you did with your own life. So to be to be a product of the product that you're selling, we were talking about that before the interview. Who am I to sell you a podcast without being a podcaster myself with any proven track record on there? Right. You've actually lived that on there. So if someone's listening to this right now, they're like, I've been thinking about a coach, or I had a coach that one time, or I got a kid that needs a coach, or my wife definitely needs a coach. Don't tell her I said that. What is something you can give them right now to get them off the fence of maybe I should hire a coach to, I absolutely, this is this is a this is the obvious next move for me.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Well, you mentioned something earlier about uh being curious, right? And kind of feeling called to do something, knowing that there's something greater out there, right? Outside of you, that there's something out there that that wants you, that you want to. Same thing when it comes to to growth within and wanting to expand your reality. Like if you know that you're meant for something bigger and you know that there are things that you said you're going to do last year or five years ago and they haven't got done. Well, there's issues going on with your identity. Like you don't see yourself as that person that can get there. You don't see yourself as that person that can have those things and do those things that you want to do. So there's some, there's some sort of conflict going on, some sort of war that's going on inside. And so usually what happens is people feel enough pain to finally get up and say, you know what, I'm gonna do something about it. But the problem with that is that they just move just a little bit to get away from the pain. Right? Most people would rather move away from pain than move towards pleasure. And so if this is you, if you're if you're hearing this right now, most likely this is you. Um I would say take a deep look at yourself and ask yourself, how much longer are you gonna suffer staying where you're at? How much longer are you gonna betray yourself by not following through on your word? And who else is gonna suffer by you not following your dreams or at least not committing to growing yourself to another level? A lot of times, I mean, yeah, it's you, it's your spouse, it's your kids, because you're not in the best mood. You know that you're meant for more, and you're you're feeling your potential slip between your fingers. And so you're not gonna carry yourself to the highest degree, and you're gonna, like I said, you're gonna be moody, you're gonna be inconsistent and whatnot. Everyone suffers around you. So if there's if there's something that you feel called towards to do, especially if it's a mission or a purpose or some sort of dream, or even if it's just the next level you, maybe it's just being better in your relationships or being more communicative. Maybe you're passive aggressive and you wanna be able to be, you know, lead more with your heart and be more connected with your spouse or your kids or your partner. How much longer are you gonna wait? How much longer are you gonna suffer, right? Um so the thing that I see the most that's common with people, why they stay stuck, is because they keep lying to themselves. They keep telling themselves, oh, I got time. You know, it we do have time, but you've already wasted a bunch of time. Like, how much more time do you need? Like, really, how much more time do you need? I I had this, I had this dream when I was working at the port. And this was one of the major things that had me make that decision, what you mentioned a little while ago, right? And there's a saying that goes with this that that I say, uh success is a decision away. Right? Um and and what that means is that you know, success is to be in succession towards something, right? And everything comes down to you cutting away everything else that doesn't work, making those incisions, right? And that's where decision comes from is making incisions to cut away what doesn't work. So success is a decision away. I made a decision back then when I had this dream, and this dream was of basically me walking into the office of where I worked at, and there was somebody sitting on the table and I couldn't see their face, but they were basically like a representation of my higher self. And it was telling me, like, hey Rob, so you make good money here, you're taken care of, like for life, you're set for life, but you're you're dead on the inside, and you're most likely gonna die working here. You're gonna die, and you're not gonna accomplish anything that you want to accomplish. Is that really what you want to do? Bro, that terrified me. Like really, like big time, dude. Hit me hard. And I had never looked at life the same since then. I want to say it took me about another two years to get out of that job after that dream. Two years too long. But what I I what I had to really do, I had to really deep dive into my identity. Like I had to really connect with who is this version of me that wants X, right? Who is that person? Who, like, how are they thinking? How are they conducting themselves? Like, how do they represent themselves and what are they doing in life? Where am I at right now? There's a gap here, there's a clear gap here, and that's fine. The gap's fine, but I have to stop lying to myself, saying that I'm this person and I can do it anytime I want, I could bridge that gap anytime I want. No, you no, you can't. Like if you could, you would have done already, right? So back to my original point, stop lying to yourself, right? You would have done it already. So what I do in my coaching is I, of course, there's a lot of accountability, but there's a lot of deep emotional. When I say emotional, I mean we tend to carry the weight of our past. A lot of resentment, a lot of things that a lot of stories we've made up about certain situations and relationships and people from our past, and we create these narratives, and these narratives run our lives, right? So this pain, these narratives, this deep emotional work, I go right after it from the get-go to start releasing some of this stuff, right? So I'll give you an example. Um, I have a client, I had a client. Uh, she was basically at war with her mom every day of the week, um, back and forth arguing and whatnot. And she pushed a lot, she pushed away a lot of good men and a lot of good opportunities in her life because a lot of these men showcased some of the qualities that her mom has, right? And so, um, whenever a male that came into her life that represented a little bit of her mom, she's like, oh no, this is not good. This is not good at all. I can't, I can't deal with you. You're just like my mom. And so the first couple of weeks we went to work on that. I'm like, hey, so let's work on forgiving your mom. Let's work on letting go of some of this power that you're giving your mom. Dude, she met the most wonderful man, I want to say about six months after that, and ended up getting married, has kids, has a beautiful family, and she still calls me and thanks me till this day. Like, I wouldn't have met this guy if he wouldn't have forced me to look at the pain and the baggage and the emotional stuff I had with my mom. That's just one example, Sebastian, of many different clients I I've worked with who are holding on to all this crap that has to do with a parent, with some sort of authority figure. And so that's what I mean by I go deep into the emotional work, right? Like it's the stories, it's the narratives that all create our identity that has us believe this is what I'm worth. This is all I can get. I might as well, I don't, I shouldn't try harder because I get hurt. I've done this before. I know what's on the other side of this. There's pain here. So I'm just gonna stay where I know. You know, I'm gonna stay where I'm at with what I know and just stay familiar. And so that's giving you some examples of some of the work I do. Um, and a major reason why it's essential to do this work because, like I said, you're stuck for a reason. You don't have what you have for a reason. Did that answer your question?

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Yeah, it 100% did. And that you nine times out of 10, we're the reason that we're we're we are we are the ones that are in the way. And we're when we're able to get out of our own way, we open up space to be able to do, you know, for whatever's next for us. But not a lot of us, because ego, ego is something else that will, you know, I always say, what's the what's the acronym for ego? It's edging God out and thinking that we got it all figured out when we don't. We don't know anything. We only know what we know. But when we're able to remove ourselves from the situation and go, maybe I am the problem.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Maybe that conversation that I've been avoiding is what's holding me back from where I actually need to be and want to be, more importantly, on there. I love all this, man. I love being able to connect with dope humans like yourself that are out there doing work that matters. Uh and when I say matters, it's not just coaching people and giving them a bunch of fluff. It's being able to peel back those layers and figure out exactly where they're at so that you can best serve them. It reminds me of the story of Michelangelo creating the statue of David. You've probably heard it before. People were in awe of the statue of David. Michael, Michelangelo, how could you create something so beautiful? He said, I didn't create the statue of David. I simply chipped away at everything that wasn't David. And one day David appeared. And I thought to myself, the first time I heard that story, wow, what does it look like for us to simply chip away at ourselves every day until who we desire to be and who we were designed to be in this world actually starts to reveal itself. But that only happens when we're willing to make a commitment to jump in and say, hey, listen, I don't know what I don't know, and I know that I'm not happy with where I'm at right now, and there's more there. I need someone who can lock arms with me and get me to the promised land of where I need to be, or at least damn near close to that. So it sounds like that's what you got going on with your business. So I wanted to encourage you. Number one, it's a privilege to call you a brother and a friend now and be in your ecosystem and us be able to do life together, but also coach to coach of helping people. I do it through podcasts, you do it through coaching people to help them get to the to the to the bottom of wherever it is they are so you can they can get to their pro their their design promise land on there. So I'm encouraged to be around you, my brother. Keep up the great work on here. Uh and I'm sure our our listeners today, if you're listening to this right now and you're not thinking differently, start the episode over again. Press play. If you're driving, you can't take notes, maybe get to where you're going, take some notes on you. There's something in here for you. Even if it's only one thing, that's all we need is that one thing to flip the switch. Rob, any final thoughts for our listeners?

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Any final thoughts? Yeah, man, I always say this to myself every single day and to all my clients. What you want wants you. I truly believe that. What you want wants you. And it's all about frequency, it's all about vibration. Um, you you mentioned something just a few minutes ago about being real with yourself, like having those hard conversations with yourself. If you can't have those hard conversations with yourself, if you can't look at yourself with truth and really be real with yourself, you're gonna stay where you're at. You're gonna stay stuck. But just know though, what you do, what you want, it wants you to. It just needs you to give up what you who you think you are. It just needs you to give up that ego, that identity, and you will align with what you want.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

Yeah, my coach, uh, the great Dan Martell often says, you gotta put something down to pick something new up. And man, that convicts me every single time. Rob, love you, my brother. Thank you for your time today. Thank you for your wisdom and pouring into our audience. I appreciate it, man. I'm sure we'll have you back on the show at some point in time. If you're listening to this right now and you're like, you know what, I need a coach. I resonated with Rob. Rob's Instagram is gonna be in the show notes at the description of this podcast episode. You can also shoot me a uh message, shoot me a DM on Instagram. Happy to make a personal introduction to Rob and explore whether or not you're a fit to work with him and see if it makes sense uh for what he's got going on in the world of coaching, but you've got to make a decision. And like I said earlier, uh earlier today, and I'll I'll leave I'll leave you I'll leave you with two things that I say a lot, and you've probably heard me say. One thing I said earlier in this episode, it all starts with a decision, and it starts right now. The question that I was posed 15 years ago that radically changed my life and the trajectory of it was who's missing out? Because you're not showing up. Rob, thanks again, my brother.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Appreciate you, man. Thank you, Sebastian.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

Likewise. Until next time. Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the Beyond the Story Podcast. Be sure to appreciate it. If you haven't done so already, make sure you're subscribed to the show. This way you'll get updates as new episodes become available. If you feel so inclined, please leave us a review. Signing off from the podcast, Launchlab.com studios. We'll talk to you next time.