The Power Of Showing Up - Who Loses When You Play Small

SPEAKER_00 0:24

So, friends, let me ask you a question. Who's missing out? Because you're not showing up. It's a powerful question when we really take it to heart and internalize it and get honest with it. Today I want to inspire you to stop playing small. I want to inspire you to start living in your purpose on purpose. So, what's possible when we start doing this? What's possible? Think about that for a second. I'll tell you right now what's possible, other than anything, but only 100% of the time. What's possible by doing this, what's possible by showing up, is radically changing your life. I feel qualified to speak on this topic because I've radically changed my life and continue to do that on a daily basis. Is it always easy? Absolutely not. Is it painful? Usually. But what else is possible when we do this is the ability to improve the way that we're currently showing up for yourself and for others, okay? A lot of people just think, how am I showing up for me? It's not about you. How are you able to improve the way that you're showing up? Not only yourself, but for others. Today I want to take you on a journey of what's possible. We're all on this life journey together. Today we're going to go on a journey together of what's possible. The goal of this talk is to help you create a brand new lens to look through. When we start looking and seeing things through a different lens, everything starts to shift. Why? Because we're often inspired, we're encouraged by that new point of view, that new opportunity to see things differently. But what does it even look like? Just think about this for a second. What does it look like if we stopped playing small? Because I guarantee you there's an area in your life where you're playing small, whether it's starting a podcast, pun intended, doing the thing, quitting the job, leaving your crappy relationship, whatever it may be, there's some space where we're playing small and we're not showing up, and you and other people are being affected because of it. So what does it look like to stop that process in its tracks? How would your life change if you stepped into this new version of yourself? Have you thought about that for a second? Take out a sheet of paper, write down how your life would radically change if you stopped doing the things that you're currently doing that you know are absolutely holding you back, keeping you playing small, keeping you from what's possible, keeping you from showing up and knowing, consciously knowing that other people are missing out. Listen, friends, this is your responsibility. This is your responsibility to yourself and to others. Here's the beautiful thing about shifting. When we shift, other people shift too. We don't have to do anything about it. We just gotta make sure we're continuing to show up and do uh work. Now, this is gonna take one thing that most people are absolutely terrified with. Terrified, okay? You guys ready? I'm gonna give it to you. It's called extreme vulnerability. Yes, I'm talking walking outside in the nude to grab the mail or newspaper. Vulnerability. Don't do that. I'm just kidding. You'll probably get arrested, and your neighbors will never view you the same way. But we're talking real, honest, extreme vulnerability here. Willingness to open up and be brave. Listen to me very carefully. When I say brave, do not confuse the word brave with strong. Brave and strong are not even in the same category. This has nothing to do with strong. This has everything to do with being brave. You've got to be brave enough to take massive action. Strong's not enough. In order to create the life you want, you must be brave enough to take massive action. If you don't, it's never going to happen. But you got to be brave. That's my word for 2025, and it's only 2024 right now. I'm excited. You got to be brave. If you want to create the life you want, it's going to take a level of bravery that you have never experienced. But when you're willing to show up like that and be brave and take massive action and create the life that you want, a life that you don't need escaping from. So many people are all excited, oh, work hard, play hard. We work hard, and then we go on vacation, and then we're back into the same hamster wheel as soon as we get back. Is that really a life? Or is a life being able to do whatever you want, when you want, how you want, with who you want? That is living life in true, true freedom. So is everyone up for the task today of figuring out what it takes to not play small? I'm gonna give you the playbook, but you've got to run the place. I can't get in the game for you. I can give you the playbook and I can tell you exactly what the plays are. Today I'm gonna share three ideas with you that I hope will help disrupt your thought process and force you into massive action. So is everyone up for the task? Yes or yes. All right, idea number one. Who's missing out? Because you're not showing up. Let's unpack this idea for a minute. I've told you a little bit about this idea of who's missing out because you're not showing up. I've told you I was posed this question 14 years ago and it lit me up like a Christmas tree. And I woke up and took massive action. The conversation was on a Friday. By Monday morning, I was in full-blown massive action. You're not stopping me. I had woken up, I was back. The beast had been awoken. So when we think about who's missing out because we're not showing up, you've got to think about the ripple effect of your contribution. What do you mean by that, Sebastian? Well, I mean the ripple effect of you showing up and knowing that because you're showing up, it's impacting others. You're saying something, you're doing something, the ripple effect. You start doing one thing, and because you did one thing or said one thing, it's like this talk right now. You maybe you hear one thing from this talk and you go do something with it and radically change your life forever. That's the ripple effect that I'm creating here. One insight, one story could change a life for good. Think about that. One story, one insight, one bit of whatever it is that you've got to contribute to the world can change someone for good. This happens when we start small, when we start showing up, when we start thinking differently. Wait a second. Let me rewire my thinking, let me rewire my mindset on how this all works. This isn't just about personal growth. This is about unlocking potential in others because you're showing up. That's what this is all about. Oh, and by the way, who do you get to become in this process? Here's another thing a lot of us like to avoid at times. I know that I'm guilty of it more times than not and have been. And I've got to check myself and I've got to get back into reality. It's self-accountability. What is my impact on others? What's the impact of my own unique voice? What does that look like? When we start to evaluate self-accountability, we start to these things through a different lens, a lens of uh responsibility, a lens of possibility. That's it, that's when we stop playing small. We start living in our purpose on purpose. Now, what does the ripple effect of our contribution look like? Well, in my world of podcasting, if I'm hosting my podcast and I ask a very intriguing question to my guest, and it really gets them thinking differently, and they they they they share the answer to the question, but they also take that same answer that they've given and they go do something with it in their own life. Or maybe I go do something with it based on their answer. In addition to that, my listeners follow suit and do the same. The ripple effect starts when I hit record on the podcast episode. That's where it starts. That's where it begins. How many ripples will take place as part of that effect? I don't know, but that's the beautiful part. Hopefully, as many as possible. One powerful breakthrough. It's all it takes for somebody to get out there and take massive action. I firmly believe that ripples become waves if we're willing to create the ripples in the first place. Ripples become waves. But it can only happen when we make a decision to show up. We stay quiet, we prevent others from unlocking whatever they need to unlock because of you. Are you understanding? Are you connecting all the dots here with how the ripple effect starts? Works, it starts with us though. We stay quiet, we prevent others from reaching potential. It all starts with a decision and it starts right now. Back in 2010, shortly after I had a conversation with a friend that asked me who's missing out because you're not showing up. I was still a victim. And one day I woke up in March of 2010 and I said, No more. No more self-pity. No more woe is me. It stops today. I need to go see Tony Robbins. And I called a friend that was working for Tony at the time, and she gives me all the details. I've got like six bucks to my name. I have no idea how I'm gonna get to Long Beach, California to go see Tony Robbins, but I'm gonna figure it out. She gives me all the details and she calls me back an hour later and she said, Sebastian, you know, I forgot to tell you that my best friend lives on Miami Beach and she's part of Tony's core team of six, travels the world with him. I think this would be a good introduction. Now I've got serious imposter syndrome and no confidence at this time. So I'm like, what in the world could I possibly bring to the table here? But I just went with it anyway, connected with this individual almost right away, and then we hit it off. We met for a drink on Miami Beach that Friday night, and that's when she posed the question to me, right out of the gates. Let's just get right down to it. No small talk here. She asked me a question that said, Um, so what's next? And I said, I don't know. She looked me dead in the eyes and she said, That is a problem. Now that was the PG version of what she said. I was highly offended as she told me what I was doing with my life was a problem. But again, I humbled myself, said, You got like six with your name. She probably makes like 50 grand a month. She works for Tony Robbins for crying out loud. I didn't listen. So I said, What do you mean by that? And she says, I'll tell you exactly what I mean. Let me ask you a question. Who's missing out? Because you're not showing up. Fireworks went off. I woke up. Right then, right there. I woke up. I was I forced myself into massive action because I stopped making it about me. I was so consumed with self-pity and woe is me, and how could you lose it all? And I'll wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I said it, forget about Sebastian. All Sebastian has to make a decision and show up. Everybody else. What about the gifts and talents you were given? Your ability to be on a stage and communicate a message and help people think differently so they can get out and do something different. That conversation ignited a spark in my life, and life has never been the same since. Ever. But it all started with the decision. And it started right then and there. I had to give a commitment to show up. So if we want to stop playing small and we want to stop not showing up so other people are missing out, we've got to commit to showing up. This is where most of us get stuck. It's uncomfortable. Schedule it. You get it on the calendar. Whether it's recording a podcast, writing a book, doing your thing, whatever it is, make it a non-negotiable. You owe it to yourself and to others. If you don't, you're robbing somebody else. An opportunity. How selfish would that be? Makes you a taker. I don't know about you, but I never want to be considered a taker. Imperfect action. Starts with a decision, starts right now. Second idea I want to share with you today is the idea around are you willing to give up who you've become to be who you are? Are you willing to give up who you've become to be who you really are? If we think about how many years we've spent on this planet based on how old you are, wow, I'm 45 years old, and about 10 years ago I had an awakening moment again that I didn't love myself and I didn't show up in a way that I knew that I really could. And as I continued to ask myself, what else is possible? I thought, wow, it's taken me 35 years to create this. What else is possible? What we've created so far is only going to take us so far. The rest of our life is a blank canvas for us to paint the most incredible picture, story, you name it possible. When we willing to give up who we've become, we give ourselves permission to stop playing small. Doesn't matter about your childhood. Yes, it happened. It's validated, but it doesn't define exactly who you are today and where you're at. Losing that job, losing that relationship, having that L with wherever it is doesn't define where you're at right now. The blank canvas does. What you're willing to create, what you're willing to commit to showing up does, what you're willing to give up in order to become. That's that's what matters. That decision in and of itself gives us purpose. Understanding that if we're willing to give up who we've become to be who we are. So why don't why don't why don't most people even consider this? Why don't they even they don't even wrap their head around this at all? You know why? Conditioning. Conditioning from your environment, conditioning from your family, conditioning from your childhood, conditioning from your thoughts. That's a crazy place, isn't it? They all play a part of it. Listen, getting stuff done busy isn't the same. It's called autopilot. It's called avoiding. Most of us can't sit still for five minutes in the in in complete silence with no devices or anything, no televisions, no distractions, just to us and our own thoughts and feelings, because it's a terrifying space to be in, because we're we're forced into ourselves. I challenge you to try it, because that's where the answers are. Once said that the only way out is through. I've lived that. I continue to live that every time when listen. When when when nothing is going right is when it's time to sit and go, what else does this mean? When we're an autopilot, we become numb. And numb's not a place where we can thrive and where others can thrive and where a ripple effect can take place. What you've done up until now does not define what you will do from here on out. It just doesn't. And that's the best part about it. That's the most beautiful part about it. When I got started in 2010, I had absolutely no clue who I was. I spent about six years running around with some sort of made-up identity of who I thought that I needed to be for the world. Only to find out I hated myself. Only to find out I care a story from my childhood of blaming and zero accountability, and it woe is me and poor me, and I was angry, and I was mad, and just in a space of complete, absolute despair. So in 2016, when things started to really get real, where things got quiet and life seemed uncertain and challenging, I decided, you know what, it's time for a girlfriend. So I hopped on a dating app and I met a girl within about a month. She lived in Fort Lauderdale. We met on March 1st, 2016. We met for a drink. And we immediately hit it off. And we met in downtown Fort Lauderdale, and we immediately hit it off. And we had a common denominator through our conversation of personal development. And she had asked me if I was involved with personal development. And I'm like, huh. Have I? I mean, walked on fire with Tony Robbins two times, done the landmark form. What I didn't tell her was that I was a professional personal development junkie. Pretty much means I went to these events, but I came home and I did absolutely nothing with what I was taught at these events. She said, I'm part of a program that is radically changing my life right now, and I think you should check it out. And I was extremely resistant because I had all the answers. And eventually we started dating. A few weeks later, she called me and she said, I enrolled you in part one of this program and you start next Friday. Get ready. And I liked her so much I didn't care. I was willing to do whatever I needed to do. So off I went under extreme resistance. I went through this program. It was a part one, it was a long weekend, and then a part two, which was five days Wednesday through Sunday, intense. But I did it. Extreme resistance, remember. I walked out. I was like that guy. Walked out. Where are you going? I'm out of here. I realized there's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to run. Except in. Now, if personal development wasn't hard enough, she broke up with me in the middle of the course. And I still continued to keep on, keeping on. Because I knew what it was, what whatever was on the other side of that was going to be worth it. And it was. I got through with that course. I came out of that course, and I was able to do a couple of things to radically change my life. I learned how to love myself. And I learned how to be a hundred percent accountable for everything that happens in my life, past presence. The last thing I did is I stepped into my power. I started believing in who I am and my God-given gifts and talents, and that I do have a gift, and I do have the ability to make an impact in this world and in other people's lives. And if I don't do something with that gift, life is just passing me by. And I don't know about you, but we're mere vapors here, and there's a clock ticking that none of us know about. And I don't want to just pass through. I want to get to the pearly gates one day and hear well done, my good and faithful servant. I want to see people hear a talk like this. Incredible with their life because of it. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing. But had that experience not taken place, I'd never be here sharing what I'm sharing. So how do we tie all this together? Well, first of all, you write it down. Self-journaling, self-reflection. Asking yourself, what's true? Is this true? Validating that thought. Who am I when no one else is around? Challenging limiting beliefs. Is this true? Is this really true? Get uncomfortable. Get comfortable getting uncomfortable. Step into into discomfort frequently. I turn my shower on cold every single day. At the end of the shower, most miserable part of my day. But I do it because it's uncomfortable, and so's life sometimes. And it reminds me of that. But I also I while the water's on cold, I remind myself who I am. I'm Sebastian Rusk. I'm a powerful, lovable, authentic leader. And I have a gift. I'm going to share it. And then I remind myself that I'm committed to the work every single day. Last idea I want to share with you is that you get to choose. You get to choose. Personal empowerment, extreme ownership. We get to choose these things. You understand that? And when we do that, there is so much power and so much horsepower behind choice and behind us making a decision to empower ourselves so we can empower others. To have extreme ownership so that others see what extreme ownership looks like and they go implement it in their life. And because they do, everything starts to change. We can't control what happens to us, but we can't control our mindset and our attitude about it. Choose your attitude, choose how you're going to show up, choose how you're going to feel about what you're choosing. You got to choose because feelings run the show sometimes. Feelings, thoughts, ideas, they run the show. They get in there and they start going. You got to choose how you feel about those things. Choice is a very powerful gift we're given. Choices shape our lives and our realities and also the lives and realities of other people. It doesn't matter what happens. We get to choose. You understand that doesn't matter what happens. Life, business, whatever. We get to choose how we feel about something and how we show up about something, what our attitude is about it, what our mindset is. We shift from passive participant to active decision maker in our life. What's that look like? It's not about reacting to circumstances. It's about realizing we always have a say in how we show up. Always. Moving from passive to active, choosing ownership over action over reaction. It's about choosing a new path of intentional living. What does that even look like? Wow. Choosing a path of intentional living. I am living in my purpose and on purpose. I love that. Spinning out of control, we get to choose. We get to choose our attitude. We get to become a conscious architect of our lives. Doesn't that feel good to even say? Yes. And here, we get to become a conscious architect of our lives. I had to change my attitude about where I was at in 2010. I had to choose exactly what I was going to do. Was I going to sit around and self-pity and woe is me and the victim and angry and mad and full of snun, no self-love? Or was I going to make a decision to step in and just keep showing up and keep peeling back another layer? I could no longer ignore my gifts and talents. I was forced into a space of showing up because I knew someone was missing out because I wasn't. And that ripped me apart knowing that. My mind said, just quit. Spirit said, never. I had to choose when it was time to become a full-time single dad at the age of 23 years old. I had to choose. Had I not done that, my daughter wouldn't have had her daddy showing up for her, having her back. What an important role. First love of a woman's life. Her dad. I got to do that. I'm so glad I did. It all turned out beautifully. It's funny because she's 23 now. In my world of podcasting, I get to help people choose who they want to become. I get to I get to help people choose how they want to show up. I get to help people choose what they believe is possible. Podcasting's just a vehicle. Who you get to become because you make a conscious decision to become a podcaster, well, that's where it changes again. So what choices are you making today that are moving you in a direction that you want to be moved in? Are you choosing your attitude every day? I know I feel miserably at this some days. Are you choosing how you show up? I fail at that sometimes too, but I'm aware of it. I don't want to be a fraud. Fraud would be I'm up here talking to you about how to better show up in your life so other people don't miss out. And then I am not showing up and you're missing out. Imagine that. That puts me in action most when I don't feel like it. Choose how you're going to show up. Choose how you're going to feel about showing up. This is very important. How do I feel about this? The art of choosing is a powerful reminder that we are in control of our mindset and our attitude. It empowers us to live with intention, purpose, and fulfillment. Intention, purpose, and fulfillment, all very powerful words. Self-awareness. You got to check in with yourself. Where am I at? What am I believing? What's true? What am I committed to? You got to visualize the desired outcome. What do I want that outcome to look like? What kind of house do I want to live in? You know, that whole vision board, that whole five-year plan, that whole we uh what is the outcome you're looking for in that relationship? What is the outcome you're looking for in that business? What is the outcome you're looking for in that podcast? Visualize what that looks like, anchor those feelings, and start living your life with intention according to all of that, and watch things radically start to change. We also get to choose how we reframe negative thoughts. This is too hard versus I get to learn how this all works. I get to figure all of this out. Listen, none of this stuff was easy. What's easy? There was never a mention of easy at all. We all need a reminder of why we're doing what we're doing. We all need a reminder of who we are sometimes. We all need a reminder that it's all gonna work out. It's easy to get caught up in the noise. It's easy to get caught up in the daily grind and hamster wheel of life. But it's important for us to pause and remember why we started in the first place. Reminders are so powerful. Reminders for ourselves, reminders for people that we care about, reminders for people that we get the opportunity to go and work with. So, with everything I've been able to share with you guys today, what what's possible by taking these ideas and radically changing your life? What's possible if you just stop playing small today? What else can take place in your life because you're making these positive decisions and steps in the right direction? Who else's life would be changed for the better if you did? Maybe it's somebody you love and care about, maybe it's somebody you don't even know, maybe it's somebody you're about to meet. If you take his ideas and you put them into action, limitless possibilities, my friends. Limitless possibilities. Just imagine what your life would look like you stopped playing small and stepped in to your full potential. What does that look like? What does it feel like? How has your life changed? How is your family impacted? How is your marriage impacted? How is your business impacted? How is your life impacted? How are you impacted? What if you let go of fear and doubt? What if you let go of the ex expectations of others and just decided to show up? Starts with us. It all starts with a decision. And it starts right now. Thank you. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode of the Beyond the Story podcast. Be sure to appreciate it. If you haven't done so already, make sure you're subscribed to the show. This way you'll get updates as new episodes become available. If you're so inclined, please leave us a review. Be sure to signing off for the podcast Watch Lab.com studios.