Episode 12 - Luly B : 'Balance is Bullsh*t!'

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Oh yeah, we know what that sound means. This is Social Buzz on Air. What is happening, everybody? I'm Sebastian Rush, your host, as always. Hey, welcome to the show. It's a podcast talking about social media, talking about things that matter, talking about entrepreneurs, brands, businesses. My guest today is a very near and dear friend of mine. I like to refer to not only just a friend, but a business buddy, a mentor of sorts. You know, we all have those people within our tribe that we can we can rub shoulders with and uh and lock arms with. And and even if we never do business together, or if we've done business together, or we may do business together, we've still got that continued support system. And this individual uh exemplifies that. So I'm excited to have her on the show. I'm gonna stop rambling. Let's just get her right on. Friends, please help me welcome Mrs. Balance's bullshit, Lulie B. What's happening, Lulie?

SPEAKER_00 0:59

What's up, Sebastian? I'm so happy to be joining you today.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Hey, well, you know you're always welcome on the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Thank you. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

So um I was a huge sellout last week, and I missed your launch event for this brand new audio product that you just launched for working moms. Tell us about it.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Sure, it's an actually an audio course, and what's so great about it is that it's a compilation of my best advice for working moms. And what I do is I take them through seven steps to boycotting balance and living life on their terms. It also includes a reflection journal and a workbook. And I'm already getting such great, great feedback, Sebastian. It's really just an honor to be of service to these amazing women who are really heroes all around the country.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

What are the seven steps?

SPEAKER_00 1:47

All right. So the first one is getting over the guilt. And I think that's a big one for working moms specifically. I think it's it's something that a lot of people go through, but when it comes to being a working mom, there's always that guilt of am I not good enough? Am I missing out? Uh, I'm missing out on my kids or missing out on business or career opportunities. Uh, number two is ditching the superhero cape. You know, so many times we want to be perfect and we want to be everything to everyone. So learning how to ditch the superhero cape and not worry about being perfect because the pursuit of perfection prevents progress. Uh, next one, the third one is avoiding compromisos. And this is where I get to teach people a great word in Spanish called compromiso, which is basically an obligation. And so so many times we feel obligated to do things, but what's interesting is that the word compromiso, if you take that last O out and switch it out for an E, it's compromise. And so so many times when you get caught up in these obligations, you compromise your time, your resources, and even the outcome of doing things that you can't do or don't want to do. Then I go into step number four, which is unwrap your gifts, reminding everyone that we have gifts. We have gifts in the form of, in the forms of abilities, skills, talents, even help, support, and love. And so what's so important is that are we accepting these gifts? Are we unwrapping them and are we celebrating them? So I really uh make this track all about the power of accepting those gifts and realizing that by accepting a gift, you're not weak. You are actually graceful. Number five is recruit the right people. And I actually have the women do an exercise where we identify who are the people in your life that are pumping you up, and who are the people that are draining you and analyzing your village and the people around you, and are they are they being helpful or are they hindering you? Number six is being present. And what's so great is that as we go through these steps, because they've gotten over the guilt and ditched the superhero cape and have learned to unwrap their gift and not get caught up in the obligation traps, now they can really learn to be present and savor, uh savor their work and their family. So if they're on their way to a big pitch meeting, they could be in the moment, they could be present, ready to go and kick ass in that meeting. But then when they're at their saw their son's soccer game or at their daughter's violin recital, being able to enjoy that and really savor the moment. Lastly, number seven, which I think is going to be your favorite, Sebastian, it's celebrate. Um, celebrating the wins, whether it's landing that big client or even just making it to your son's soccer game and just really celebrating all of the important and valuable time that you have, whether it's work or family, and being able to take the step back and realize how awesome you truly are.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

So these are basically things that all of us already know, but we so often forget and let it go by the wayside, and in turn, it adversely affects the style of our life, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:08

Absolutely. This is it's definitely not rocket science for sure. And what I found in speaking across the country to thousands of women, no matter what position they have, how much their business is generating in revenue, uh, their race, religion, or ethnicity, this is what they're going through. I mean, I'm blown away, Sebastian, especially uh professional, professional women, professional moms, uh, how much guilt they're living with and how much weight is on their shoulders on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

And so this obviously comes in and helps speak in from a different angle, also provides a level of support for them remotely through being able to engage with your knowledge, through your experience. I mean, you you've come up with this entire balance is bullshit, and we're gonna talk about that in a second, concept based on living it. That's right. Once you've lived it, and I think, you know, and I and you you and I know each other well, so I know that the the root of all that is listen, if I figured this out and it improved my life and my family and my business overall, I gotta share this, I gotta get it out to the world in this in this audio series is just another opportunity for you to do that, correct?

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Absolutely. It's it's not only helped me, but hundreds of women that I've already put through these steps uh individually, and then the women that have heard me speak, the thousands of women that have already heard me speak about this as well, and just the impact that I know that it's making on them. I just felt like this was a way to get to the masses.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

100%. And Lulie, when did you realize that balance is bullshit?

SPEAKER_00 6:46

So a little over two years ago, I was actually at a mastermind group. I'm a part of Ali Brown's uh Elevate program, which is a wonderful community of women entrepreneurs. And it was my turn during the mastermind. And I got up, and at the time I was running a very, very successful marketing company, which I still have today. Uh, but I had five employees, amazing contracts. I mean, I was overwhelmed and exhausted with work. And I just got up there and I said, you know, I don't know what else to do. I really don't want to be the president of a multi-million dollar marketing company. This isn't, this isn't what I signed up for. I just wanted to have a business in search of work-life balance, and that's not what I'm getting. And the next person that tells me that all I need to do is balance in order to be happy, I'm just gonna vomit in their face because balance is bullshit. And it was just ranting on Sebastian to a group of eight other professional women, where one of them actually stopped me and said, Luli, that's it. And I went, What do you mean that's it? And I had, I knew that I wanted to be a speaker and I wanted to get a message out. And at the time I thought it was going to be about marketing to small businesses because that's one of my passions. But through that experience, through even just talking it out, I realized, oh my gosh, I do have a message because I'm living it, as you said. I've I've been there, I've done that. And so that's really how balance is bullshit was born.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

Awesome. And I remember it. I remember your level of excitement. Um, in fact, um, we we did uh we did some work together on your launch. And we had a killer event, and uh, your I shared your level of excitement um for all this coming to fruition, and then I of course um over the past few years have seen the entire thing develop and then you just continue to you continue to make it better, Lulie. So congrats on your on your ongoing success. Thank you very much. It's great to have um movers and shakers like yourself that um that tell you the truth um in your tribe, and you're definitely one of those uh individuals. So um why does a working mom uh need to engage with with a product like this and with with your brand?

SPEAKER_00 8:59

I think for working mom, Sebastian, I think what what I bring to the table is perspective, and I'm kind of that that friend that is gonna give you the the slap across the face, the the nice loving slap across the face, but the slap across the face because so many women need that.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

Well the hug, it's a it's a hug with a slap in the back of the head.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

There you go. Or maybe a slap and then a hug.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

That's what you give, that's what you give me every time you see me. I I deserve it though.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

That's right. Well, and I and I give it with obviously with all the love in the world. But but Sebastian, I mean, that's what I love about what I do. I I get to work with hundreds of women on a daily basis that are doing amazing work. I mean, I'm talking about amazing, amazing women, and they don't see it for themselves. They really don't. And so I think it's almost like the same reason why you need a vacation. Um, it's just to disconnect and to just take that step back and re-energize and realize how blessed you are and realize how truly awesome you are. This is what my message does for so many women, um, and why I'm so excited about sharing this audio course with women. Because I also made it simple for them. You know, so many audio uh courses or programs are hours and hours long with this crazy thick workbook. And when you get it, you're excited. But getting started is so hard. And even worse, continuing on gets harder. And so what I found is that, you know, these are busyworking moms just like me. So these tracks are 15 to 20 minutes each. The workbook and reflection journal is just that. It's you get to it when you get to it. And the important thing is just writing it down and really putting things into perspective for you, and even giving you the steps, the tips, and the tricks that I share from stage uh when I'm out speaking across the country. And so I just feel like these are simple, they're realistic, uh, and they're doable, they're feasible for so many working moms to give them that perspective. Because at the end of the day, Sebastian, don't we all want to be happy?

SPEAKER_01 11:08

100%.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

And if we want to be happy, we need to let go of that guilt. And so many women don't allow themselves to be happy because they live with so much guilt and they're in this constant pursuit of perfection. And I want them to shift the focus and stop the pursuit of perfection and start the pursuit of perspective.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

That is fantastic. Uh, if you're just joining us, or maybe you had ADD and you fast forward through this podcast, we're chatting with my good friend Lulie B. Check Lulie out at our website, LulieB.com, but more important, check out the brand new audio series she just came out with at balanceisbullshit.com. Yes, that is a real URL. You can actually sign up. Uh and correct me if I'm wrong, Lulie. You can actually go to balance is bullshit.com, you can sign up with your name and email address, and you get a quick um audio series of um uh just on guilt. So it's like one of the segments of the entire product, right? And they get that for free.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Right, they'll get a 10-minute snippet, and the snippet that I chose is actually giving you the actual steps to get over the guilt.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

So you're getting a tool right off the bat to get up there and join, and then um Lulie's gonna stay in touch with you, continue to follow up. That's the best thing about technology these days is that you can get into an ecosystem like Lulie B's in the balance is bullshit network, and you've got somebody nudging you and tapping you along the way to see how things are going, to stay fresh in your mind, to become that support group on there. Again, I'm a full-time single dad, so I'm as close to a working mother as it gets. Um, but I'm a firm believer that balance is bullshit. Um, I I got out of bed at 10.30 this morning, got into the office about 11.15. I have absolutely no idea what balance is all about. So, you know, that that's that that that's that's just how it goes. So um what what are three things that you can out outside of outside of what's included in the program? We don't want to give it all away because nobody's gonna join the program. But what are what are what are some what are three nuggets of wisdom that you can give women out that you didn't mention in the program but still have to do with with with guilt and and and and realizing that balance truly is bullshit? That's so much fun to say bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

I know, it's kind of fun, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:12

It feels like you're like we're like saying bad words on the radio. So I mean not that I've never done that, but you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

And actually, I almost I mean, I hesitated to even call it that because it said, my gosh, what are people gonna think? What are they gonna say? I fell into my own trap of, you know, am I gonna actually say a bad word? And what I found, Sebastian, is that it's the best word to describe it, you know. I mean, Elizabeth Gilbert, a snippet from Elizabeth Gilbert on uh Oprah's Life You Want just came out where she said it's the word balance is the biggest weapon women use against themselves. And I thought that was so powerful. And a good friend of mine sent it to me and she says, I guess she hasn't gotten the memo that balances bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

That's fantastic. No, it really is. And I mean again, I and I and I took the same approach um with with the title of my book, you know, social media sucks. That's right. I've had I've had one person in the past year and a half tell me that um um that that that the name sucks, and and then I just told them that they suck. So that's right. Um but because the people don't get it, they're like, wait a second, bow ties social media, you're in the space and it sucks. But again, we you know it's it's about properly presenting yourself and branding yourself. And uh you've done a you've done a great job with with balance's bullshit on there. So uh give us three things that that aren't included in the program, but in your perspective, um, are either going to push people in the direction to realize balance truly is bullshit, um, and just kind of the the goal here is to be able to provide content uh for our listeners. Uh that they that they can they go, you know what, I it was a quick 20, 25 minute podcast, but I got one thing from it. I got two things from it. And you know how we process so much information on a daily basis that I think it's just vital that I I don't care as long as I walk away with one thing. Maybe it's um, you know, it's like you we were at uh Tony Robbins UPW early this year. I mean that's a four-day event. And you know, I don't think that you consume, I think you get more impacted subconsciously, which I'm still trying to figure out, than you do consciously, but it's that one thing um that that you take away that makes it all worth it. So, what are three things that that could help propel our listeners into the right direction on really realizing the reality that balance truly is bullshit?

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Well, I think the first one, and I'll just reiterate what I said earlier, just because I think it's so powerful, is to stop the pursuit of perfection and start the pursuit of perspective. Um, you know, we're we're just so hard on ourselves, and this goes for most people in general. Um, but again, specifically working moms, we're so hard on ourselves that we don't get to enjoy anything in our lives. And what ends up happening is that when you live with that guilt and you live with trying to please everyone around you and being everything to everyone, you can't do anything right. And so a big one for me is I I love to remind people to just live a life with perspective and forget perfection. Um, another another one I'd like to share is you know, we we sometimes feel like receiving help or support is a sign of weakness. And I like to remind people that it's actually a sign of grace.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Sure, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

And to go a step further, Sebastian, you know, um when you accept help from someone, you are actually giving. You're giving that person the opportunity to be of service to you.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

And how dare us deny people that love and support us the opportunity to be of service to us?

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Sure, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

So so receiving is giving.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

I struggle with that a lot as a single dad over the past 10 years. Um, and and my sister was the one to really help me better understand that Sebastian, people don't ask to help unless they really want to. And I thought that was a good dose of truth. It's true. People, I mean, sometimes people are ingenuine about it, but it's very it's very, very rare that someone says, Hey, if there's anything I could do, or I'd like to do this, or what about this, or I'd like to have, or they just, you know, it happens. People just jump in and help, and you're like, Where'd that come from?

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Yeah, and then sometimes we we say no because we don't want to inconvenience the person or we feel guilty about accepting that help, or we feel like we are weak because we accept the help. But what we're really doing is denying a wrapped gift that's being given to us, that's being presented to us. So just important to unwrap that gift and uh and and allow people to be of service to us because we we love to be of service to others, but we also need to realize that receiving is giving.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

Absolutely, 100%. Um, how has your life been impacted mostly personally since you've started this balance is bullshit journey?

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Oh God. Um everything from my personal health to my marriage to the way that I run business to now just really savoring my life and really enjoying every single day like I never have before. I am in I am enjoying my life so much more. I'm savoring it, and I have never felt so free and fulfilled in my life, Sebastian.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Well, that's obviously that's a great indication that your thought process uh and your whole brand and idea of really spreading your message works. And if it if it works for you, why doesn't it work for other people um just like you that are that are that are working mothers? So um I see this, I I I see um clearly you're not slowing down by any means at all. But you know, this is something when I first thought about the audio program, I thought I saw a working mom in a minivan, grab the package with the CDs in it, get in the car, throw them, and then then they're always in there, and by default, and they just listen to them over and over and over and over again. The kids are in bed, uh the husband went to go play golf on Saturday, kids are at their friend's house, they got a little bit of time to have a cup of coffee on the back porch and dive into that reflection journal and then back in the car to pick up the kids and listen into the audio CDs again. So it's like one of those, and I'm assuming that's that that's that that's really how you conceptualize it as well. I mean, again, absolutely from the outside looking in.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Absolutely, absolutely. And Sebastian, you know, I I do want to remind the listeners too that my life is nowhere near perfect, and it never will be, and that's okay. Um, because there are people that see me and say to me, you know, my gosh, you just you just have it all, and you, it's so perfect. And yes, it is, and I'm extremely blessed and I am fulfilled, but it's every day working at this and even reminding myself of my own advice. I mean, I have my seven steps posted on my desk, and every day I remind myself of what's important and constantly drilling into myself that perspective.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Yeah, absolutely. It well, it's key. Well, we're almost out of time. Speaking of working moms, I know you got to run out of the office and uh and get into uh a non-balanced world of being an awesome mom.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Yeah, your your life definitely doesn't suck. Isn't it time for you to go skiing or something? It's it's almost the holidays.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

No, we do that in the spring. But yes, we do go skiing every year.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

I said that's you got skiing, we got the beach, we're doing manicures and pedicures during the week. Who needs balance, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Well, well, Lulie, congrats on all your ongoing success. Um, it's an absolute privilege to call you a friend, and I'm stoked about the new product. Everyone go to balanceisbullshit.com. You will not forget that URL. Sign up, you get the free audio piece on guilt. Um, and then get into Lulie's um ecosystem and in her tribe. She's going places and she wants to take you with her. Will you come back soon, Lily?

SPEAKER_00 20:21

Absolutely. Whenever you'd like, Sebastian. It was so great to be on the show with you.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

It was absolutely my pleasure. Make sure you follow Lulie on Twitter as well. It's Lully B Tweets. That's L-U-L-Y, the letter B like badass tweets. Plural on there. Hey, have a blessed afternoon, Lily. It's always a pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Same to you, Sebastian. Take care.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Thanks, Lily. Well, that's it for this episode of Social Buzz on Air. I'm Sebastian Ross, signing off from our studio here at Keyworking in downtown Miami. Be sure to check them out at Keyworking.com. Need a private office, maybe shared space, maybe a co-working space that is directly on the water in front of the American Airlines Arena. You heard me, Miami. Hit me up personally, I'll put you in touch. Or if you had to be sure to check them out on Facebook as well. Keyworking, just like it sounds. I'm out of here. We'll see you next time.