How To Activate Hope, Resilience & Connection in Leaders and Teams - Rachel Druckenmiller

SPEAKER_01 0:04

This is the Beyond the Story Podcast, a show that goes way beyond the story.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

And now, Sebastian Frost.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Rachel Drunken Miller, welcome to the show. What's happening?

SPEAKER_03 0:29

Hey, um, I'm I'm really excited to be here and have this chat with you today. And now that I've got my uh tech setup squared away, thanks to you, I'm even more excited.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Yeah, let's go. You gotta have your gotta have your tech game in check, especially these days. It's kind of expected. So you and I met on LinkedIn. That's not hard to that's not hard to do these days. And I think I came across one of your famous singing videos, and I thought to myself, wow. And I thought that I have uh just absolute complete courage when jumping on stage or creating content. And you most definitely have far exceeded that. Uh, and the cool part about it is that you thoroughly enjoy and it brings a tremendous amount of joy to your life. So um I love the videos, so keep them up.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Thank you. Thank you. I feel like every week I need to put, I was working on a couple songs on Monday that uh I'm gonna be putting out at some point soon. And did my own first dabbling in writing a song actually over the weekend, which sort of came together in like an hour. And I came up with a melody and I was like, oh, this okay. Um, can I maybe I can do this too? You know, so it's just it's kind of a fun thing because it's not my full-time work. Um, but it's it's sort of like as a speaker singer, it's a it's a it's a fun thing to infuse into what I do, especially because I didn't let that kind of come out for so much of my life, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Sure. Did now did you did you um or do you rather, do you sing during your keynotes?

SPEAKER_03 1:53

I do. Everyone. Now, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Fantastic. So it's kind of like a you're kind of like a Disney princess. Tell a story. Something like that. You tell a story and you're like, yeah, keep going. What else you got? Yeah. Um that's very unique, very, very cool. And I I've as a fellow speaker, I know that being able to stand out from the crowd of speakers is extremely important. I'll never forget I saw a guy, I couldn't I I couldn't tell you his last name, but his first name's Eric. And um he um that narrows it down. He this guy freaking finger paints while giving a keynote. Like it is the most mind-boggling thing, and he'll just continue to and then musical play and he'll go, and the next thing you know, bam, picture of Bono. And like with his hands, like, and then he'll go and he'll come back and he'll talk about you know, you know, courage and this and that and the whole nine, and he'll go, all right, let's go paint some more, and really hyped music. And the next thing you know, it's like Jim Morrison, like full-on finger paints, and it does you can't even tell where it's at. Um I forget what the guy's last name was, but he like rocked stadiums and whatnot well when live events happened. But anyway, I would I would say that that goes down uh into probably one of my most memorable keynotes. That and my buddy Bruce Turkell at the National Speaker Association annual conference got two 2,500 fellow speakers uh in his opening keynote on the main stage uh to play kazoos um to um the Beatles Love Love Me Do. Uh and that was an outstanding, uh, an outstanding performance to get 2,500 fellow speakers on their feet playing a kazoo uh and delivering just was a just a uh an awesome keynote. So yeah, it's it's really cool that you're doing that and integrating the end. I've been trying to figure out other than bow ties, what I can integrate into it. Like, do I need to bring a piano out? You know, or you know, there's so so many phenomenal like performers on, especially in the speaking space. I don't know if you know um Jason Hewlett.

SPEAKER_03 3:43

I know the name.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

Yeah, the guy, I mean, the guy does a Belton John impression that is unbelievable, but it has a very, very strong and awesome message with with uh with his keynote. Uh I think his his thing is all about um keeping your promise to your craft and to your into your community and to your and to your audience. So yeah, it's always it's always fun to see these unique things happen. So let's back it up. So how did this all begin? I always like to start like after high school, what happened then, because that usually gives us some context into the past and what it led us to to where we're at right now. So let's back up a little bit and uh talk about what happened after high school.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

Sure. Yeah, after high school, I went to an all-girls high school where I, by the way, that was the first time I took voice lessons my senior year. Um, I avoided, we had this incredible choir, and they would wear these beautiful long black dresses and pearl necklaces for all their performances. And you had to try out in order to be in it. And I was so mortified of singing in front of people and being exposed in that way that I never tried out for choir. All four years I was there, even though I loved singing. Um, and so I finally, my senior year was like, Oh, I'll just do voice lessons just selfishly so I can improve my own voice for my audience of one. And then she was like, Oh, there's a recital at the end of the year. And I was like, uh, maybe if everybody else there is, but not for me. So anyway, I sort of I was terrified doing that. I really did not enjoy it. Um, the final performance, I was very scared. And then I got to college, and my junior year, I studied abroad in Spain for a semester, which that culture is so vibrant and so alive and animated and colorful and loud, and you're you can't hide. And and I came back from that and I had been in, I had joined Gospel Choir a year earlier because you didn't have to try out. So it was very safe play. And there's like 80 people, and it's call and response. I mean, it was very low risk. And I remember I waited until the end, it was a February, February evening, and I waited until the end of the end of the uh uh practice. And I went to the director and I was like, hey, I want to try out for a solo. And I was absolutely terrified to do this. And he was like, All right, like it's no big deal to him. Like, of course, people solos all the time. Like, you need to get over it. And he sat at the piano and I just went to a microphone in a huge open chapel, and I close my eyes and I just I sang. Um, and he got up, I remember it, like it was yesterday, it's 20 years ago, almost. I don't know. He got up from the piano and he knocks over a microphone stand nearby.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

So you were two, you were two years old. It's 20.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

Right. Everyone thinks I'm 25. I'm like, I'll be 37 in July. But um I'm like, thank you. And I've been working for more than four years.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

But um I'm not in college, I swear.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

It happens all the time. People like, oh, you must be like 26, 27. I'm like, thank you. Flattered.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

Gonna need to see your ID, ma'am. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

So, like, that was the beginning. That was the beginning of me stepping out in a way that I had not before. And once I did that, and he was like, Where did that come from? And I was like, Oh, it's been there. Spain came from Spain, blame it on the Spaniards. And that was the beginning. And then I started singing more and I had a solo on every concert. And then my this I started hanging out with this group of people that were in jazz bands somewhere in gospel choir. And one of them was this cute sophomore, and he played piano, and we would go play and sing together and almost get kicked out of the church at 11 o'clock at night because they had to lock it up, campus safety. And 15 years later, we're together and we're celebrating being 10 years married in August.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

I saw that post. Congratulations on that. That's that wow, a girl to sing and play the piano with.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Let me write that down.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

But it was like, here's the thing though. I think to myself, because we don't realize the things that we hold back on, we are not always aware of the long-term consequence of holding back on something that we think is just a little thing. So if I hadn't found the courage to sing because I was so afraid of being judged or messing up or like hitting a note flat or whatever, all the things I was afraid of, not being good enough, I would have had no reason to ever be standing next to a guy singing as he played the piano because I wouldn't have had the courage to do that. And so I truly, if music was not part of my life the way it started to become part of my life in 2005, I don't would I would I have ended up with him? I really don't know. We spent so much time playing like music together in my last semester of college that I just I don't I don't know if we would be. And so I think we don't realize the ripple effect of us holding back on something that makes us come alive and brings us joy. And that's one of the reasons why I've become so passionate about going on LinkedIn and singing a thing because it's I've heard people say, Oh, that gave me the courage to dance on LinkedIn. And clients love the fact that I'm authentic and they they like my dancing, and it's one of the reasons they've wanted to hire me. And we think it's just a little thing, but it might actually be a really big thing.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

That's fantastic. No, I don't think you would have met your husband had you not taken that leap and said, I'm gonna I'm I'm curious though. So I I get the call going to Spain and spending a year there, and I live in Miami, I totally understand the the the Latin culture and that's special just it's a special vibe that it provides. Um but it's also between the transform it can be transformed transformation null. I speak for a living, I promise. Um but so other than being there, what what was that was it was it just uh that whole was it the feeling of of challenging yourself or just wanting to get out of your own way? What what what happened for that shift to take place?

SPEAKER_03 9:18

A number of things happened. I think it was one of the biggest risks I'd ever taken. I was adamant about not studying abroad. I was like, I lived in Maryland, born and raised in Baltimore my whole life, right? I've never been further at the time, had never been further west than West Virginia, like, which on a map for anyone wondering, that's not that far. And the idea of crossing an ocean and living in a country where I didn't speak the language for four months was like, you've got to be kidding me. And I remember as I was running this idea, you know, I was when I was deciding to do it, I was either 19 or 20 at the time. And I was asking like adults, right? And I was like, uh, my Spanish professor thinks, and I was just taking that because you had to take a language. I went to a liberal arts school and they make you take a language. And he was like, he pulled me aside, he was like, You really have a knack for language. I think you should really consider studying abroad. And I was like, I'm taking psychology as a major, thank you. I don't really travel, maybe not. And as I started talking to other adults who were like twice, you know, three times my age, they were like, You have a chance to go live in Europe for four months. One of my biggest regrets is that I never did that when I was your age. And I had so many people, including my own mother, who at that time in her 50s had never been to Europe still, even though she had wanted to go in college to study in France, for instance. And I was like, Rachel, you can't. And there was a guy that I was really into back here, and I didn't want to leave that non-existent relationship. And so I, you know, I had this, it was this conflict, internal conflict of do I do this? This is a huge risk to be away from all the action on campus for a semester and and speaking a language that I sort of speak with people I don't know for four months. Like that's that seems like such a big risk. But I think as we take these steps of courage in one area, it opens us up another area. So the fact that I lived there with a woman I didn't know who did not speak English with her granddaughter for four months. I traveled to to uh where do we go? Belgium and Portugal and all over Spain. And I when I went over there, I was a really picky eater too. And I was like, I'm allergic to almost everything because in the States I eat chicken fingers and buttered noodles, and I had to open up my palate. So this idea for me, my one of the reasons my company is called Unmuted, I literally felt like Dorothy and The Wizard of Oz, starting in this black and white space, who came into this literally just vibrant um way of existing. And I couldn't help but change because I was in the this place that wouldn't allow me to stay the same. And so I was traveling and meeting new people and stepping outside of my comfort zone, trying to speak a language that's not my native language, and trying foods that I couldn't pronounce, that I didn't know what they were. And I I couldn't help but open up as a result of that. And when I came back, I was like, I'm not the same person who left here in August. And at that time, I was like, you know what? I had a little bit more moxie, I guess. And I was like, I'm gonna try out for this solo.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Love it. Love it. So if you're listening to this right now or you're watching a video clip or a promo clip of this episode on here, that's the reason I like to have conversations like this for individuals just like Rachel that have decided to step into their power. And because of that, their life has been forever, the path of their life has been forever altered. So take that quick lesson right now if you're listening. So um, all right, so became a soloist, said, cool, overcame that. And then what what what begins next? How did the how did the speaking stuff start to come to life?

SPEAKER_03 12:49

Well, the speaking stuff kind of came accidentally, I guess. Well, I did speak a bit when I was in when I was in college, I did research with a couple with a professor. And when I was a sophomore, I got to speak at the Eastern Social Sociological Society annual conference in New York City. They put me up in a hotel with my parents, of course, um, in New York City, the Roosevelt Hotel. And I got to stand in some room, I don't know, it might have been five people, it might have been 50 people, I don't remember. But I was there like presenting my research. And and I remember um at the end of the, you know, at the end of college, we have to do a final project, and I'm presenting, and I I felt I was nervous, like because I wanted to do it perfectly. I was very perfectionistic and exacting, but I felt like I was pretty good at it, like I could engage people. And so when I got into my work, I worked for an employee benefits consulting firm and I made up my job. I was an entrepreneur. My parents were both entrepreneurs, and I was an entrepreneur, and so I basically, you know, got the perks of working for somebody else with the freedom to do things the way I wanted to. And I was like, I'm a wellness coordinator. I was in, I studied psychology and health behaviors in college. I was like, I'm gonna do that and make it up. And so starting in 2008, so I graduated in 2006, 2008, one of our clients was an adjunct professor at my alma mater. She said, Hey, we do an HR class, HR master's class, we do a unit on workplace wellness. Would you come and teach it? And I'm like, I've been doing this for about five minutes, and I don't necessarily feel like I know what I'm talking about, but you're gonna pay me $75 to talk to a bunch of people that are all older than me about something I'd been doing for about five minutes. Sure. So I went up and I started this was in 2008 or 2009. I had my first speaking engagement um paid. And and I was like, this is kind of neat. Like I liked it. And so little by little, I started doing I got asked by clients, hey, we have a manager's retreat. Will you speak at the manager's retreat? And I was like, okay. So I'd make up a thing and I'd tell stories. I learned very early on that telling stories was a critical part because I really wanted to make people feel something, you know. Um, and I put way too much data. I mean, I look back at these old decks and I'd be embarrassed to show anyone them now because they're terrible and there's just too many bullet points or charts or you know, I was more so giving them information. Right. But it was practice, it was a rep, you know, it was a rep. And so it was really in 2000 and I'd say 15 that I started speaking more consistently. I spoke at my first like local Sherm chapter event for the HR Association, co-presented with somebody, got really great feedback. Every time I did it, they'd be like, Oh, that was really great. I was like, I don't know what I did, but okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

And I did a Sherm gig last year. That's pretty that's funny you mentioned that. Yeah, they're they're a big deal. It's the first time I had heard of them, but yeah, they're a big deal.

SPEAKER_03 15:31

Yeah, they're a big deal. Because most of it, when you're in the benefit space, most of people you interface with their HR um people. So I did a lot of work with HR professionals, and and so we had for years been telling our clients that wanted to do wellness stuff, oh, bring in this other company, they'll do workshops and lunch and learns. We'd have a proposal, they would never follow up with them. And then I became a health coach. I got my master's in health science in 2012. And then I became a health coach in 2013. And I was like, I went to my company, I was like, well, what if I just start teaching workshops? I mean, I'm no less qualified than any of these people now. And so I went, we went to our clients and value add said, Hey, what if we start doing these workshops for you, these lunch and learns? And they were like, that'd be great. And so little by little, I started to accumulate that. And then I got asked, I got my first keynote in 2016, my first national keynote in 2016. And I had won an award from this group called the Wellness Council of America. I'd been named their number one health promotion professional in the United States in 2015. Got my first stage, they were just gonna give me the award. And I said, Can I do like a little speech?

SPEAKER_01 16:31

If you don't ask, you'll never know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

So I did, I was pining to say that I was stressed about this is an understatement. Because I was maybe there's gonna be like 400 people there, but I memorized as much of this thing as I could and closed with the Apple, you know, quote of the think different thing. And the president comes on stage afterwards jokingly and was like, that was amazing. We should have her speak at one of our future conferences. And so I wrote in my journal on the flight home, I will speak at Walkoa next year because I always have keynote speakers. And four months later, I get a call from one of their VPs who was like, Hey, we were wondering if you would like to speak at our one of our keynotes next year. And I was like, Yes. So that was the beginning, and I was like, and then I went through heroic public speaking, I went through their professional speaking training in 2019. That was the catalyst that got me to realize this is what I want to do full-time. I don't want to do any of the other stuff that I'm doing.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

And that's what got me to integrate the singing. And I almost didn't, but my writing coach, as I was telling a story about that gospel prior story I explained, I was like, should I like sing when I tell that story? And she was like, You're telling a story about singing, and you can sing. You most definitely should not even question that, and you should sing. And so that was the first time 2019 was the first time I ever even thought of integrating singing in with my speaking.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

I love it. You can know you can almost tell potential clients. I bring a mini musical to your event.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

I do. I you said Elton John earlier, right? And so you know this, but I was hit by a pickup truck in May of 2020 and fractured my back. And so I was like, like any good speaker, I was like, I'm gonna use that. So I started doing a keynote called I'm Still Standing. Um, Rising Up with Resilience When Life Knocks You Down.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

And so naturally I've had it on repeat lately. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

Right. So I feel like it would only be. Let me see if I can flip on my original sound here.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

That movie that movie was great, by the way, Rocket Man.

unknown 18:28

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

Everyone should watch that.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

So even if you don't like Elton John, watch it. Because my sister's not a huge Elton John fan music major, but not a huge Elton John fan. And I'm I'm okay. I can do a little tiny dancer, a little can, you know, a little candle in the wind. But um, but when you watch it, it was a whole different uh whole different insight. Wild Ridey's had that, Elton.

SPEAKER_03 18:50

Yes. So that I'm so so I started, I'd be in a session and I'd be like, you know, talking to people about this and say, uh, well, you know, like uh, don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did, looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid, you know, like and then I would do a little snippet of something and go in a little further. And then people were like, that's different.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:14

Wasn't expecting that.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

I love the shock factor with it all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Or when I sing like a BI, you know, if I sing survivor, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:23

That's usually not, you know, people usually don't expect um it to sound like, you know, uh, I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gonna stop, I'm overcover, I'm gonna survive, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

Let's go. Let's go. I'd be in the front row like I'm buying drinks for this girl after the talk. Yeah, absolutely. People have to be envious of that courage, though. They've they they've got to be, and that's gotta be one huge impact, impactful part of the talks that you deliver because people look at it because we as speakers that we're here to inspire people to the stories that we tell, but also how we're showing up to tell those stories, I think, is absolutely vital. I think my bow tie really has a huge impact on the points and and things that I'm that I'm delivering to the audience for some crazy reason. I guess it's association or something, but um yeah, this is great. I'm I'm a little fired up. I'm like, maybe a little, maybe I'll step out of the shower and start singing in my living room a little bit here. I read something the other day about singing, though, that it literally it's it's very comparable to like doing ohms and meditation. It it sends specific messages and signals to your brain. I want to say the vagus nerve too, it affects.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

It does. It activates the vagus nerve, which which which um innervates with every organ system from your brainstem to your digestive system. And so it activates the restful branch of your nervous system, which helps you to calm down lower blood pressure, lower heart rate. So I integrate that because I often talk about resilience and resetting mindset and a lot of what I'm walking people through. So when I sing, it's usually tied into some other overarching point. Um, sometimes I just sing because I feel like it, and I'm telling a story about something I did that felt courageous. And here's the thing I used to hide. Here's a thing that if you'd told me five years ago, oh, you'll sing in front of hundreds or thousands of people, and you won't really get nervous about it. I'd be like, you're crazy, because I don't know where that's gonna come from.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

We don't do that, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

We don't do, but here, and I want to really quick something you just mentioned around inspiring people. I think there's a book that I'm reading um called B by Jessica Zweg that my friend Bree gave me. And one of the things that she says in the book that I love was something I wish I can remember exactly what the quote was, but it was like stop uh educating, um, entertaining and inspiring people. Um Illuminate, captivate, and motivate them instead. And that's what I feel like I do because it's one thing to walk away. We all know this, right? We've been to events where someone's like, rah-rah. Oh, that's great. I can't relate to any of that, but that's a really cool story.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:17

Okay, that's fine. And we need to hear those, you know, we can be inspired by other people. But what I'm on a mission to do, what I really care deeply about, is I want to, I wanna, my word that I use is activate. Like, I want to activate something in somebody so that when they leave, they're like, I've had people, and this is not, I had one company I'm working with recently, and they were like, So after your last session, somebody was so affected by it that they put in their notice that afternoon because they realized they were burned out and didn't want to be here anymore.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

It's like that's why you hired me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

And they're like, but you know what? If that person feels this way, it's we we wish them well. And and you know what? They were really appreciative. That's only happened once. So I mean, I usually don't like broadcast that super publicly.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

It's like, oh yeah, she sings, it's great, puts on a great show, but uh, we're gonna lose half the team, just so you know. So I don't know she's a huge, I don't know if she's an asset or a liability.

SPEAKER_03 23:08

So, like, you know, I mean, that but I have to be honest. I mean, and and they said the CEO of the company said, Rachel, that's the impact of of your work is that someone can can come to something you do for 45 minutes and have a complete recalibration of their life and make a change they've needed to be making that they sat on. And I've heard multiple people not always leave, maybe they go to their boss and say they speak up about something that they've been silencing themselves around and say, hey, I really need support, or hey, this schedule isn't working for me. It it it unlocks something in them that gets them to, for me, have a sense of agency for them. That that is something I'm trying to activate in people is a sense of agency of I have some influence over my future path, and I am not a victim of circumstance. And I so I I try to get that message out that that you are not a victim of circumstance. You can control more than you think you can. And sometimes you just need to kind of get off your butt and do something about it.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Right. Taking action. Imagine that. So powerful. It's so it's so freaking hard to do. But so especially when when life shows up, it's hard to do. Um but there's power on the other side of it. Like that's what we don't, that's what we fail to see see initially. Mel Robbins five-second rule. A lot of people say, I don't know, I don't know about all that. No, I I think it's a phenomenal technique to be able to count for five seconds, and it's a non-negotiable to get up and get out of bed. Um to be able to say, I'm going to pick up the guitar and learn more than three chords, which I'm that's that's on my musical list. I bought I have I the acoustic, I've gotten five five chords down. Uh perfect. But my electric guitar, I have that's a whole new world. I sit it and I look at it every day. Like I just have to plug it in. Like Fender has an app and everything, it just goes right on the TV. I just follow what the guy tells me, but I haven't done it yet. But this week the guitar lesson starts. So do it.

SPEAKER_03 24:49

My husband's doing that. My husband's doing a Fender course right now.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Literally, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that it was like comes with a guitar. They have like an app and it plays, and the guy's like, hey, what's happening? Let's try this chord. All right, let's try that chord. So yeah, I'm like, I'm looking to get my John Mayer on, you know. Every time, every time I pull up TikTok and see him like go bananas, I'm like, I got a long way to go. But you know, he literally, I remember him telling a story one time of him literally locking himself in a bedroom with a guitar for an extended amount of time, like several years, until he just absolutely mastered it. And you talk about a virtuoso uh of the of the of a musician and specifically the guitar, Mayer's got it nailed. Um, but yeah, I've got big aspirations. And a piano too. I played piano as a kid and and gave it up. I think a lot of people did, and then I'm kicking myself now. Um, because same thing. You know, I'm I can play a great rendition, a heart and soul, a little bit of Billy Joel's little bit of Billy Joel's piano, man, and it stops there. So I was like, what would it look like to get a keyboard and to actually plug the guitar in? So uh these days you can write your own entire album I had a buddy write his own own entire album uh using garage band. And he did the he did the vocals, he did the drums, he did the keys, he did the guitar, he did everything. He just stacked everything and recorded everything in garage band. Mind-boggling, what's possible? Yeah, he's a pastor too. That's like that was just like amazing.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

Well, and that's the thing. I mean, I I restarted, I realized how much I love like well, I know I've always loved singing, but I realized how much I'm like, I really want to pursue this more intentionally. And so I started taking voice lessons for the first time in almost 20 years about two months ago. And it's the highlight of three o'clock every Monday. I mean, I look forward to it so much, and I had helping me hold my craft.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

I had a friend do that recently. She's a uh uh incredibly awesome coach, works in really in the in the more of the personal development space and spiritual space and stuff like that. Helped she she's the one friend that helped me uh meditate. I'll never forget, I went to the beach at seven o'clock one morning and she goes, Listen to me, we are not leaving until you close your eyes and do this for three minutes. And when I say those three minutes were so anyway, she posed her husband owns a nonprofit that helps underprivileged kids through music. So gets them off the street after school, gets them in, gets their homework done, and then teaches them how to create music and poetry and raps and learn how to play an instrument, and it's called the Motivational Edge. And uh and uh she performed for a group there at the Motivational Edge and was like, hey, listen, I took up singing lessons, I got out of my own way, and I'll have to send you the video. Her name's Monica Ray, she's a freaking rock star. And I sent it to my sister, who's a music major, and she's like, Oh, she's totally got chops. What was she waiting for? Um, so just another example that when we're willing to get out of her own way. See, my sister was the musician of the family, so was my dad, and everybody had, you know, uh a perfect pitch. And I was always told that my mom and I weren't those people. Um so I've been I've been working through that that process. I don't know that I'd be working singing into my into my into my gig. Anything's possible. But I will say a couple years back, my daughter's upset. We go on a lot of cruises. We're big cruisers when cruises actually happen. So anyway, um, my daughter loves the karaoke bar, and she's an extreme introvert, which is crazy. She's got a beautiful voice, but would never sing in front of anybody, was always in choir. My sister's like, she's got a great angelic voice. But I'm like, I wouldn't know because I'm like, Kayla, sing to me and she won't do it. But she loves karaoke bars, and I haven't heard her sing karaoke, but one night I was in the casino, had a couple bourbons after dinner, and she's like, uh, hey dad, why don't you come over to karaoke? And I'm like, done. Give me the pencil and the piece of paper. Like you got Frank Sinatra's My Way. And I when I say I got up there and let that and just let it go, and uh everyone stood up, started clapping. And then my daughter's immediately like, Dad, you should travel for American Idol. I'm like, I'm 40, honey. I don't think I can, that's I think it's like a cap on what I can do. But that's the closest that I've gotten. Again, the liquid courage probably helped out a little bit on here, but um, you know, well, no one, no one, you know, the song pretty well too helped with karaoke, just to just a smidge on here. But I do remember that feeling of like, yeah, okay, that was cool. Let's go to karaoke every night. So um, well, we're almost out of time. I want to I want to talk about your brand though. Um, because I know you're you're doing some content with our with our mutual friend Eric Silverman too, but I want to learn a little bit more about your brand because it's a very powerful name. So I want to understand how that all came about.

SPEAKER_03 29:02

Yeah. So unmuted, I mean, I think it's been this progression. I've had people ask me, when did it happen? I'm like, over the course of my entire life. Um for me, it's this idea when I think of being unmuted, it's this idea of showing up um joyfully alive and courageously expressed. So whether that's in the form of art as we're talking, right? Whether it's music or some like a performance art or some type of um drawing or painting or poetry or writing of some kind, I think everyone has this, everyone is a creative, I believe. I love the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and what she has to say about how we're all creators. We come from a line of tinkerers and dancers, and um, and and so this is what we are at our essence is we are we are we are creators and and we forget that. We forget that we have the capacity to create and imagine. And I also think of it as you know, speaking up in in relationships and to ask for what you want, to put yourself out there and to say, hey, can I have 10 minutes to give a little acceptance speech? Like that was a risk. They could have been like, no, our agenda's full. And they sort of said that initially, but I was like, could I please it's sort of being willing to advocate for yourself? And part of it's being willing to put myself out there, like when COVID hit, you know, I was like most speakers, suddenly you go from like, you know, uh what am I saying? Oh, oh, this is you go to nothing, right? You're like, oh, all the live events are canceled. What am I gonna do? And you reinvent. And I had to, and I had to do that. And that required me to reach out to people and to say, hey, I'm doing this thing and and and put yourself out there. And um, and so I think that's part of it. Another part is even in my own relationship, like my husband and I, we have a really great marriage that we've worked really hard at, but we've also, you know, two years into being married, went on this retreat called Getting the Love You Want. And, you know, we learned a lot of skills for and unpack stuff that was difficult and painful and uncomfortable to unpack to really get at the root of of why we show up the way that we do in our relationship. And um, it's it's my friend Kara has said the phrase to me. She's like, You're a you're a contender for breakthrough in every area of your life. And I feel that way because I I believe that there, there's like life is is it's meant to be enjoyed. We're meant to show up fully. It's like you're here, it's like you know, yeah, one shot here, you know? And and and and this isn't to say that I always move forward, like I want to do a TEDx, and I and I and I my husband has a piece of paper on my vision board that says future New York Times bestselling author, and I, you know, believe I'll be on stages talking to 20,000 people. Like, I really believe that. Um, I don't know the path to get there yet. But this this is what is in my imagination for what is possible in the future. And so sometimes I think unmuting is also communicating our desires, even though that feels scary. Like, who do you who are you to think that you'll be on a stage with Brene Brown when I who are you to think? And we sit there and we judge before we even release it. And so it's it's just a lot more of less judging ourselves, more communicating what our desires are, sharing our our feelings, right? I think a lot of people have struggled with that in the past year, much more open about when I'm struggling or what I've struggled with, and and the highlights. It's that range of the human experience and working on my relationship and communicating all of that. So, so it's it's this whole life approach, I think, in terms of unmuting your palate and getting away from just chicken fingers and butter noodles and and eating things that are more vibrant, Rachel. And and so that's what I see it as this unlocking of of kind of possibilities and creativity inside of us. Um I love it.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Yeah, I absolutely love it. I'm inspired. I'm inspired and motivated uh to uh to dig a little deeper and say, hey, you know, what else is possible? Maybe I should actually buy the juggling kit and pull up some YouTube videos. Maybe I could juggle on stage with my well, then I'm just a rainbow wig and a red nose away from being a clown on stage because I got the bow tie going and everything. But hey, anything's possible. Rachel, you're doing incredible work. And I I really um I just want to commend you for that. And I want to encourage you to continue on the path that you're on. You're clearly doing work that matters, work that that impacts people's lives, that leaves them differently. And uh, I believe that's what this life is all about because just like you just got done saying, we got one shot at this. So what are you gonna do about it? So well, thanks so much for your time. I appreciate you coming to hang out and share your story and uh tell us how we got to this, you know, uh platform of being able to sing and talk and post videos and sing all based on just punching fear directly in the nose. So totally cool with that. So come back sometime soon, will you?

SPEAKER_03 33:44

Of course. Yes, anytime.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

Excellent. And if you're listening to this thinking, she's awesome. I want to connect with her. You 100% should do that. All of her links to connect with her further will be available in the show notes. She's awesome if you haven't figured that out already. Uh, so be sure to connect with her on the socials, and uh, you'll probably be seeing her on a stage near you somewhere with some, you know, incredible, you know, song/slash talk program, which I'm not, I haven't heard a lot of this. It's so unique. I love it. So keep doing what you're doing, Rachel. I'll talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

Thanks so much.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

All right. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode of the Beyond the Story Podcast. Be sure to appreciate it. If you haven't done so already, make sure you're subscribed to the show. This way you'll get updates as new episodes become available. If you feel so inclined, please leave us a review. Be sure to appreciate it. Signing off from the podcast, launchlab.com studios. We'll talk to you next time.