How To Identify Joy Spotting In Your Life - Joy Farley

SPEAKER_00 0:04

This is the Beyond the Story Podcast, a show that goes way beyond the story. Joy Farley, what's up, girl?

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Hey, friend. How are you this morning?

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Oh, I am just tap dancing on top of the world. Thanks for asking. Uh, while we're recording this, it's a Monday. So such a great way to kick off a brand new week with your smile and face. And finally, glad to finally get you on the show.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

I'm so glad to be here. This is the best way to start Monday if no one's told you. Start your day with Sebastian. You can't go wrong. The week is going to be glorious. I already feel it.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Likewise, Joy Farley. So you and I met a couple two, three weeks back over on Clubhouse. All the kids are talking about today these days. If you're listening to the thing of Clubhouse, why is this grown man talking about a clubhouse? It's a social audio app with a think group chat rooms, and it's grown extensively over the past uh year and a half, specifically within this community of Breakfast with Champions. My good buddy Glenn Lundy had started this and uh I knew that it was going on. But three weeks ago, I'm like, I gotta jump in the mix there and see what's going on. And I'm glad uh that I did. It was lots of familiar faces and then new faces. I think you and I initially connected. Um, you really stood out to me with you know your your voice inflection, how you spoke, and your topic was joy. And I'm like, Joy talks about joy. And I unmiced and let everybody know that in case anybody forgot, there's a tremendous amount of joy found in Taco Tuesday, which is Tuesday. So uh that that's that's pretty much how we we connected over tacos and we didn't eat one taco.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

I feel like we didn't even need the tacos, it was just straight up heart to heart, through your voice. That's the best thing about Clubhouse is we've been able to connect with so many incredible souls that you don't have to be in the same room. You can feel people's presence, you know their essence, and has really led to so many incredible conversations. I had a meetup with some friends that I've met through Clubhouse this weekend. So if you can have tacos, great friends, great conversation. Like you said, if you're not on Clubhouse, then you're truly missing out on so many opportunities.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

It just showed up at the right time. I was thinking about that the other day that like their timing was impeccable. And I I don't even think they planned to launch during a pandemic. I think the the wheels had already been turning with with Clubhouse. I learned about it, I think it was late last year, around this time last year, and I didn't think anything of it because when I Googled it, I found a project management software. So I didn't think anything of it.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

Probably not it, not not the same goal.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

Yeah, and then invite only, you know, the FOMO and the hype was there. So I finally got invited. I think right before Christmas time, I jumped in and then I just made a decision that I was going to take part of this community and provide as much value as I possibly can to the people that I meet, and who knows what's gonna happen or what opportunities are gonna take place. But I tell you, it took until Breakfast with Champions about a month ago, uh, where I really felt that I found my tribe of people where there was a diverse the world is in that room at any given time. And it breaks my heart.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

You know, it breaks my heart. What's that is the fact that I've been on Clubhouse since December 18th, and we only met three weeks ago.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

I'm devastated about that. I think I joined around the same time. It'd be funny to know when I joined. I wonder if you've been.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

I mean, we've we've we've we've definitely moved in the right direction in the past three weeks. I feel like our relationship and friendship has really gone to the next level.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

December 20th, 2020.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

However, two days difference, and we're having a whole uh lifetime, I feel like to catch up on where everyone else seems to be ahead, but you really haven't missed a beat. I feel like I really know you, know you, and it's only been two weeks. So maybe that's just our shared ethos, as the kids say of when you just meet great people, you feel like you've known them a million lifetimes because you've got to be exactly.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

You are science.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Good people find good people.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

I agree with that. Well, your vibe attracts your tribe too. Okay, so don't get it twisted.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

And the vibe is always high.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

It is, it is. It is. So on this show, I like to tell people's story, Joy. I like to uh to go back to the beginning of the story that really brought you to present day with what you're doing right now. All of us have an interesting story. We've had an interesting, dare I say, dare I use the word journey, but that's what some refer to life as. So if we could back up a little bit, I want to add some context to our conversation and really kind of help understand what what what's your story?

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Ooh, where to start? Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

So start after high school, usually, unless there's something more interesting that would be.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

I mean, I was I was a cool kid. I was pretty cool in high school too. No, no shade.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Just say one of one of six children. Is that two? Is that correct?

SPEAKER_01 4:56

One of seven. Um seven said it technically one of eight. We had a little brother when I was six, he passed away, but the total was eight, but seven on Earth side. And it's crazy because you look at my parents and they both were doing completely different things. Our whole life story would blow people's minds. When I tell people my life has been just one miracle after the next, it really started with my parents. Uh, so my dad's white, my mom's black, they'd never dated or lived in the same state. Uh, my mom was in television, my dad was in a band, and that's like me meeting you at a 7-Eleven one day or at a, you know, pick any random place, and then I would run into you for five years at all times of day in cities across the country. My mom would be doing television stories, and my dad's band would stop and be at a Denny's or something at 2 a.m. when they both had a break and they kept on running into each other before cell phones, before the internet, before any of these things happened. And that kind of has been the story of my entire life. So seven kids, um, limited resources, and just the incredible favor, honestly, that has followed me my entire life. Um, we all got to go to private school on scholarships. I've got um a little brother who's a professional dancer. I've got a brother in the NFL, like none of this ever made sense on paper, which just blows people's minds. But I seem to feel like it's maybe just how things always were supposed to be. So great childhood. We were homeschooled until probably gosh, when I was in maybe fifth grade, and we ended up basically winning the education lottery. So, hey, how do how do you send your kids to private school with um, you know, on paper being under the poverty line and to look at all of the things that have opened up over the years, and it wasn't because my parents could stroke the check. And if anyone knows my mom, she is the most honest person you'll ever meet and to say, hey, where what's what's Christmas looking like? Or, you know, what's what's going on with the family? And she never was one to say, Oh, we're fine. I'm fine. That's kind of just leave me alone. I don't want anybody in my business. But now we've been talking about this idea of transparency, authenticity, vulnerability. And those are things that have always been, especially from my mom, that has really been ingrained in all of us is just tell people where you are. You never know what doors could be opened. And by her honesty and all those other things, it has created such an incredible life for all of us, versus being like, I'm fine, and all the incredible stories you can think of. So grew up in Charlotte. I still live here now, never thought that I would be back in at the 704. Um, but did have the opportunity to go to Charlotte Christian here in Charlotte, it's one of the best private schools. Um, went to UNC Wilmington, uh, played volleyball on a on the on the national club team. I played um sports in high school, but really, I mean, when you're six wonderful, at the end of the day, you look back and say, hey, how can I either get a scholarship or make this work for me? So I look back and say, you know what? I wouldn't trade those years for anything. Um up until my senior year, I majored in psychology. I've always been very fascinated by people. It's not surprising or shocking. I went to college, I went to college thinking I wanted to be a business major just because I thought it'd be fabulous to wear um pencil skirts and stilettos to an office one day until you sit in one of those classes and you're like, this is boring. Took my first psychology class and was absolutely hooked. And I had all these plans of going off and getting my um, you know, my PhD in clinical psychology, found myself in the research lab my senior year. I happen to be a research, um a research assistant for one of my professors. I was in his statistics class, and he asked me to join his lab. And I found myself in the lab my senior year, in a lab coat, being like, I'm too fun for this. What am I doing? It's crunching statistical analysis. I thought I was just supposed to, you know, talk to people and work through issues, but I look back and a job opportunity had opened up my senior year. So, you know what? Maybe I just want to be with people, whatever that might look like, maybe it's not in a clinical sense, but the job I knew that I had in the bag fell through three weeks before I graduated. And all of those bills from college had my name on them. And I was like, okay, what do I do next? And just like everything else in my life, where favor has chased me down, I got a text message from a great family friend of ours who I never I didn't even have his number. My phone, I got a ding on my no G network slider phone in college and said No G. It had no G's, it was not connected to the internet. It I think it sent uh you could call me, send messages sometimes. And um, what'd you call it when you had to be like A A A B B B. Oh, yeah, probably do that. So when I got the slider, when I got the slider gig, it was like the biggest upgrade. But it's when you had to carry your um uh your iPod for internet access. You know, it was it was great times. It was great times. Tough I got this message from um Dan Horner and he reached out to me. He was one of the owners of one of the biggest builders here in Charlotte, and he said, Hey Joy, it's Dan. Um I just got your graduation party invitation off the kitchen counter, and it dawned on me that our company's hiring, there's a sales position I think you'd be a great fit for. Call me and we can discuss the opportunity. And in my mind, I said, uh, one, I know nothing about real estate. My parents have never owned a home. I have never sold a big pen to anyone, and I know nothing about construction. Like, why would you ever call me with this message? I'm the least qualified. And he said, honestly, Joe, I've been watching you for years. You put you plus any product or service, and it'll be incredible. You have this it factor that nobody can teach you in a classroom. And I've seen you interact with strangers and people you've known forever, and they're like the same thing. And I think you just be an incredible fit. So looking back, of course, I've always earned every every uh sports team, you name it. I was like, I wanna, I wanna earn my spot. I don't want to ever have this job because I know one of the owners of the company. And so I told him, I said, if it's cool with you, I don't know you. You don't know me. Send me to your recruiter, just like all the other jobs I was applying for at the time. And if it's meant to be, then I've earned my spot. And he said, Deal. So look, now, now I know better. I'm like, who do I know? Right. And we could have a conversation, which has been opened a lot of other doors. But you know, it was my first job out of college. I didn't know. I wanted to earn my spot like I'd done, you know, my entire life. Well, unanimous vote. I ended up graduating on a Sunday, moving home on a Monday, sitting down, having multiple rounds of interviews with their company, and came back and he's like, oh, unanimous vote. I really don't do the hiring uh and some firing, but people hire for their teams and it was a unanimous vote. We love you, we would love to have you a part of the team. So I was like, okay, well, now what? Didn't realize I had to go get my real estate license. I was just a blind, like, okay, well, if um you see something in me and I know that you're super successful, then I'm down. And now I'm going into my almost 10th year in real estate. I've worked for some great builders, um, local builders, national builders. I'm with a national builder now in my homes. And it's just so crazy to look back and say, wow, of all the things in life, when you think that you're the least qualified, you find yourself in situations where people see things in you that you never saw in yourself. Just like Breakfast of Champions. I literally slid in that room one day, sat in the audience, and you know, Glenn called me to the stage, was like, hey, your picture's real sunshiny. Like, and then before you know it, I'm like, Glenn, did we just become best friends? And the doors that continue to open by just showing up, being open to do new things that maybe you didn't see yourself doing, but people see something in you. And I'm learning when that happens to just go for it. Whether it's being asked to be on a podcast, I'm not a podcaster. I love people, but yet. There you go. Operative word, yet. And I just love when you trust your gut when you're like, okay, well, I'm willing to try something new, and you never know what could happen. So it seems to be the story of my life from how I grew up to where I find myself now, and it keeps the future really wide open because I'm not afraid of trying new things.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

That that's really clear. Now, do you find yourself creating momentum for yourself every time you continue to show up and something just wild ends up happening after I love how you said that favor chases you meet me too? It reminds me of the quote that I I don't um I don't hope for miracles. I depend on them.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

I expect them. Always saying expect it. I almost expect them. If anyone knows me, uh on whether it's social media or my friends, whatever, I see rainbows all the time. There's one sitting right behind me. My friend painted this for me too. However, oh my gosh, it's this idea of, you know, I'm always covered. I know that if I just keep staying in the right spaces, connecting with the right people that have really nothing to do with me. I'm very aware that I have no control over my life. And I think we share, you know, similar backgrounds and faith that you realize that, gosh, my life is so much better when I realize that I'm just in his grip. And I look at my life and the things behind me and the things ahead that keep me really expectant, that the same favor that has followed me is the same favor that's gonna meet me in the future as well.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Let's go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

And I mean, just this weekend, both days that I was going to meet with um some of our mutual friends from Clubhouse, both days on the way to meet them at the hotel, I saw um rainbows in the sky. Sometimes I see rainbows, you know, people will see see rainbows around or whatever, and they'll send me their you know, hashtag daily rainbow, because every time they see rainbow, they think of me, which I think is awesome. But literal rainbows in the sky, random. And I'm like, man, this will be an amazing weekend. I can't.

SPEAKER_00 15:37

Oh, I got something for you. I got something. Okay, so so this is like every you know day. I love Max Cato. Yeah, he's great. He's great. So today I hadn't touched this. I had to dust the dust off it. Don't judge my journey. Don't judge my journey. And I go, what does September 20th have to tell us today? That's why I can't believe you just said this. Said God makes and never God makes and never breaks his promises. The Hebrew word for covenant uh bareth baryath means a solemn agreement with binding force. His irrevocable covenant runs like a scarlet thread through the tapestry of scripture. Remember his promise to Noah? I establish my covenant with you. Never again will all of life be cut off by the waters by the waters of a flood. Never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth. And God said, This is the sign of the covenant I'm making between you and me, every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come. I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

I literally do.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Shut the front door. Like I l I wish you could see like the hair stay together.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

No, you were you were you just said rain. I'm like, I'm sorry. Did you just say because I have another, I got another big guy moment. So I I I got done with Dr. Ro's interview. We were we were winding down towards the end. And uh I said, uh, you know, the older that I get, the more my priorities shift, realizing that if I stay focused on one thing and one thing only, and that is the amount of massive impact that I can make in people's lives, everything else will fall into place. So impact is my word, and she legit lifts a book and she goes, I just got done writing a book called Impact with 30 other people.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

I was like, you just you just know when the alignment happens, but I seriously I see either rainbows in the sky, they show up on the walls of my office oftentimes. People will see a rainbow and they'll send it to me. And it's just the biggest godwink of reclaiming the rainbow, saying, Hey, I'm always covered. Favor literally follows me. If anything, I feel like it chases me down and is always catching, always catching up. And then I just expect the goodness of God to show me what's my next step. I remember in high school, my sister was going to college my senior year. Um, and I was like, oh man, what am I gonna do without my sister? This this stinks. Or I was I was going, I was in ninth grade, she was going to college, so we were we're a few years apart. And that goes back to this idea of confidence is really just putting one foot in front of the other without questioning which is which. And I feel like when I just move with these discerning, confident steps, I always end up in the right places. And sometimes it's it's jumping into things that I'm not 100% sure of myself about, but I'm willing to try. I tell people all the time that I love to go get lost. And in doing so, I always find something. Sometimes I just get in my car, I'm like, I'm just gonna go get lost. I'm gonna go find a new place. I'm gonna go try a new restaurant, I'm gonna go take a street that I've never had and see where I end up. And every time I stop into a coffee house or I stop into somewhere, I run into somebody, and then you end up being like amazing friends that you know what? I just got in my car and drove here and didn't really know what to expect. I just landed here, but I was willing to go get lost. And I think a lot of times what holds many people back is this idea that safety is comforting. And for me, sometimes when I feel too comfortable, it's my internal alarm that I gotta go take some risks. I gotta go jump out of go get uncomfortable. Yeah, I gotta get uncomfortable or try new things, or I think it's very human for all of us to have reservations of I don't want to be seen like I'm starting over or I'm at the bottom or I don't know what I'm doing, or it's amateur hour. But every time I put myself in those situations, I learn something new. I gain a new skill, I find a new friend, I learn something about myself that I didn't know was down there because you weren't willing to just jump out of the boat and see what happens. And I feel like safety keeps people stuck, and I'm always willing to kind of be daring. And every time I do that, I always gain something.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Yeah, there's a lot of freedom and there's a lot of there's a lot of reward, there's a lot of freedom on the other side of that. And a lot of the I'm I'm going through that right now with my stand-up dream.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

I know. I told you I was like, when are when when's the comedy show?

SPEAKER_00 20:16

The debut is is this Wednesday.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

So you're just naturally hilarious, and I think the world, the world deserves that from you.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

The world ain't ready for this.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

You would be you would be cheating the world if you kept all of the jokes inside.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Oh, come on, somebody. Come on, somebody. Let's go. Joy, you're amazing, and I'm so privileged to call you a friend. Uh, and uh I I love our I love our Instagram conversations and random Instagram video calls.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

I didn't even know you do that. I didn't even know. I was like, what does this button do? And I was like, oh hi. Uh did we video call you?

SPEAKER_00 20:51

We ended up on a video call on Instagram. It might have been my first ever video call. First time I ever like saw you technically outside because we're we're listening on Clubhouse and same thing on on uh on Insta our uh Instagram messages. So um, well, this is just the beginning. I'm sure I'm gonna get you back on the show. You're gonna have your own show. I know it.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

We gotta work on that. We gotta work on it.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

We're gonna turn you into a podcasting uh machine. But thanks for taking some time out of your uh out of your busy day. I know it's been a busy morning for you too, but uh made it happen, girl.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

I was like, where's Sebastian? I need Sebastian on Monday mornings consecutively. I feel like it just sets the tone for an incredible week ahead. And this is just the start of many new things. And I think, like we talked about, when you just say yes, the whole world opens up.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

That might be the title of the episode. I couldn't agree more. All right, friend. Well, have an incredible week. I will see you soon. We're rocking and rolling tomorrow morning on Clubhouse. I can't wait for that. 7 a.m.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Don't be late.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

Absolutely. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be early.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Bring the tacos. Definitely bring the tacos.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

There's nothing wrong with breakfast tacos. Nothing wrong at all. Thanks again, Rockstar. I'll talk to you soon. You got it. Until next time, friends. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode of the Beyond the Story Podcast. Be sure to appreciate it. If you haven't done so already, make sure you're subscribed to the show. This way you'll get updates as new episodes become available. If you feel so inclined, please leave us a review. Signing off from the podcast, launchlab.com studios. We'll talk to you next time.